Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Today A left around one PM. Said he will go out for a haircut, and stop by his friends house, and be back by 4:30 so we could all go to the mall so the baby can play in the playground.
It is now 7:15. He has texted me that he has not had anything to drink (I will not even invest any emotion into wondering if he is telling the truth) but that he smoked some pot, and will come home once he is sobered up.
Meanwhile me and baby N are snuggling on the couch, watching Inside Out, and snacking on strawberries. I gotta admit, the day is better with him GONE.
However, he took the car my sister lent me while she is out of town. Honest to God, at this point that is all I worry about. Her car. It's like my mom said, you can't waste your life worrying about A. It's not my fault he leaves me for his friends to drink and smoke. It's not my fault he has this disease. And from now on I will just decline the offer of a car, since he took it knowing I don't want him to. Baby N and I are not too good for the bus :)
He texted me that he loves me and won't do this again. I laughed to myself. Because... I don't feel anything when he says he loves me. I only winder if he truly means it, or if it is to manipulate me. And since I no longer care... his words of love can't make me "forgive" him.
I simply don't care anymore. That's why it has been so easy lately, not worrying, not stressing, enjoying my days with my son. He can crash and die. I am emotionally no longer invested in my husband.
It is now 7:15. He has texted me that he has not had anything to drink (I will not even invest any emotion into wondering if he is telling the truth) but that he smoked some pot, and will come home once he is sobered up.
Meanwhile me and baby N are snuggling on the couch, watching Inside Out, and snacking on strawberries. I gotta admit, the day is better with him GONE.
However, he took the car my sister lent me while she is out of town. Honest to God, at this point that is all I worry about. Her car. It's like my mom said, you can't waste your life worrying about A. It's not my fault he leaves me for his friends to drink and smoke. It's not my fault he has this disease. And from now on I will just decline the offer of a car, since he took it knowing I don't want him to. Baby N and I are not too good for the bus :)
He texted me that he loves me and won't do this again. I laughed to myself. Because... I don't feel anything when he says he loves me. I only winder if he truly means it, or if it is to manipulate me. And since I no longer care... his words of love can't make me "forgive" him.
I simply don't care anymore. That's why it has been so easy lately, not worrying, not stressing, enjoying my days with my son. He can crash and die. I am emotionally no longer invested in my husband.
penny61
It sounds like you had a much-needed good day. I completely understand how you feel and, although it has taken me many years to get to where you are, I feel the same way about my AH. Here's to many good days for you and baby N!
lostinpain92
I have such a relief when he leaves. I can actually feel the difference in my body. When he comes home all that anxiety and stress flood back in like a tidal wave. I wish he would never return. 20 years....how I wish it would just end. But today it was a rainy ol Monday. I didnt have to work. He did. And after cleaning the house and such I took a long nap with the dog. No kids here. But I know just where you are coming from.
qtpi123
I always feel better when he is out of town. What is wrong with me that I just can't take the steps to end it? That I keep pretending like I still care? I started seeing a counselor last week, and I told him I have to decide whether to leave my husband. Maybe that is a step- and I am looking around for housing.
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