Just want to start off by saying that after 15 years of being in a relationship, countless hours searching the internet for a support group, alanon meetings and talking to family and friends. I all of a sudden found the daily strenth website. The suprsing thing is, I found this group page 1 month after my divorce from my alcoholic husband was finalized.

Thats right I am divorced. I want to let anyone who is dealing with an alocholic spouse to know that it took me years upon years to make this decesion. the ultimate thing that led me to filing for divirce was when I started to see it having a negative effect on my daughters. for years I thought I would wait until both graduated and moved off to colledge but for me that would be another 9-10 years and I couldnt imagiane how I would be abel to carry on for that much longer.

When I read the stories they all sound so familier. Although I did suffer Alot of emotional abuse it was sometimes physical. The night my ex-husband got so drunk and mad at me for some reason (it was hard to keep track because he is always mad at me) he completly destroyed the main leval of our home and I had to resort to calling the police. He moved to his moms. Retraining order was granted and he packed his bags and moved out of the country.

Writing out this story just seems so unreal to me even the fact that for the first time I typed "ex-Husband"

Although he is now my ex, I do still suffer from the effects of his drinking as we do run a business together and I often have to talk to him about that (and he is ofenn drinking when we have to talk about work)

I am currently working on furthering my education (while working full time, helping run our busniness being a single mom of two girls, house currently up for sale) I have just enrolled into an online course.

I dont know how I am able to stay sane and not have a nervous break down with all that has happened and happening. But I want to let you ladies know that it is possible, I was once in the position where I felt how could I possibly leave this mas who I loved so much ( I beleived for years I was put on this earth to save him)

Its also strange to me that I can feel myself falling out of love with him, I never thought that was possible.

I did think that once we seperated I would no longer have to deal with or think about his alcoholism from that I can admit I am not free of completly. But I am working on it and I do see myself being free from it in my near future. I think thats what keeps me going.

K