Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I took three 5 min clips of my AH's verbal abuse and anger outrage with my iPhone. Those clips are pretty disturbing. I watched and listened to them again and again. It helps me to convince myself the way he acts is not acceptable and there is no future between us. What should I do with these video? My original thought was to show them to him when he is somewhat sober and makes him realize how disgusting he becomes when he drinks. But then, I thought, perhaps I should hold on to them without showing to him in case I hire a divorce lawyer and see if I can use it as an evidence of his behavior. I don't know if I can use it to my advantage, but at least I can show others I am not just making all up about his abusive behavior. I feel like such an evil person thinking like this, but at this time, I am so sick of living with this crazy individual who acts totally opposite when he drinks and when he is sober. I am worn out by this terrible mental disease that he has progressed over the last 20 years. Any thoughts, anyone?
If you are thinking of using the video to prove to him what a jerk he is, trust me, he already knows. He will just use the video as an excuse to berate you for some reason. He will accuse you of abusing his trust or editing the video to make him look worse or whatever he needs to believe to make you wrong and him right. This is just their way, don't take it personally. Alcoholics always justify their own bad behavior by pointing out the failings of others (just observe this in him).
If you are truly done with him, then build your file. If you are planning to stay with him, then build your own life in spite of his addiction. He will drink regardless of what you do so you might as well do what you want. Good luck.