First time posting. 

I cannot believe this is my life. From the outside, our life is such a pretty picture. I bet people think I have it all. However, I regularly think and say out loud to myself, I hate my life. The uncertainty, chaos and dysfunction that surrounds our lives is destroying me. 

My AH and I have two young children, a 3 yo and a 2 month old. I'm terrified that they will be effected by his actions as an alcoholic, but equally scared of how they will be effected if we split up. I am also uncertain if my husband will harm himself if I leave.

As all of you, I don't actually want to leave, I just want the man I love back and to never see his alter ego again. I want to leave his disease, not the man.

My question is...does anyone have any experience with the different prescription drugs that supposedly decrease the cravings for alcohol? Or the shot that is given that causes the alcoholic to become sick if they drink?

I know my husband has to want to recover and be sober, I am not fooling myself anymore. I can't force anything on him...my many ultimatums and rules over the years have always failed. However, I am interested in sharing any possible success stories with these types of drugs with him (if there are any...)

Thanks.