I am doing really well here, because my husband has not touched alcohol in about a month. I know its not too long, but this is the longest stretch since he first drank a beer back when he was 16. I was a mess after thinking of all of the things he said to me, how much he hurt me, etc. I do have one question if anyone can clarify - I was using the excuse of his drinking for the things he did and said - like if he had not had all of that beer, he wouldn't have said such a thing. And it is true. When I told him off I explained to him that I hated the alcoholic Pat, and loved the real Pat. That is what helped him see what was really going on. So here is the question - could a person stay "changed" by alcohol for a long period of time if they keep drinking, and could they still not be themselves the day after? For example, 2 months ago I was away with the kids and he came to join us on July 4th. On July 3rd I spoke to him around 10pm, and knew he wasn't where he said he was. So when he came up the next day we got into a fight, because I was able to prove he was lying. He said things that day that really hurt. Now - if he had not had all of that alcohol in his system the night before, is there a chance he would not have acted that way? Do you know what I am getting at? Bc the things that I am still angry about with him I am trying to let go, and it would be easier if I was able to tell myself, yeah that was the alcoholic pat talking, not the real pat. Does anyone know how long alcohol can affect the mind after being ingested? And if they drink every day or every other day if it messes up the mind on a regular basis, and once they "detox" they may think differently? Thanks for any thoughts.