It sounds like it's definitely going from bad to worse, do you have an exit strategy planned? even if you don't use it, it can be comforting just to KNOW that you have a way out, there is outside support and you are or will be capable of standing on your own two feet. i know i've been feeling better and better about my choices since realizing i can get out and knowing WHERE i will go if i have to make that decision. there is nothing we can do for this (wo)men, it's a bitter pill to swallow but that's the reality. it doesn't matter how much we hope or pray, they will only change if they want to and when they are ready. for now, it's up to us to make the hard decisions - which sucks so bad, because we didn't ask to be here, but that's what women do - and move on with our lives. i know this group is a great place to come to vent when you're feeling at your wits end, have you looked into the books yet, codependent no more at least? i'm sure you can borrow it from the library if you don't want to buy it. it will definitely give you a new perspective. it really DOES suck when we can't rely on these people who are supposed to our rock as much as we are theirs. honestly, if you leave he has two choices - get better or get worse. if he gets better and he hates you, at least he isn't trying to kill himself anymore. if he gets worse, you don't have to watch it. right now you have to focus on taking care of yourself. sometimes i consider myself a single parent, even tho i have a partner. i know that pisses off some single mothers who are really doing it all by themselves, but they don't have to deal with an alcoholic partner who is constantly causing stress and rage, who is not consistent or reliable or trustworthy... very often i've thought i would rather be on my own and struggling than have this kind of instability. xxx

Well. Id say you cannot count on him. Treat life like he doesnt exsist. Always count him out. Always. That way your never disappoinyment.
You know who woke up every night when my kids had fevers from ear infections? Me. My first had high fevers every 4 weeks from ear infections from 6 months old to 14 months old and he finally got tubes put in. I was in nursing school for my lvn at the time. I was working one day a week as well. He didnt do shit. I would be up all night with my baby and his fever. It was exhausting. He never woke up for feedings or diapers. He was a spoiled drunken asshole.

Just dont count on him ever.

Yes I'm learning the hard way the best way I would have described His a functional alcoholiccan do work n only gets drunk in a Saturday but even tho he may not be drunk every day I know he has a few in the bar b4 he comes home but lately the "not drunk" days r becoming a lot less I can't remember the last day he went without a drink I feel like I'm just waiting for the big downward spiral to happen I just feel it's getting worse!! And on Saturdays we do something for a few hours as a family but soon as it's over he goes to the pub and comes home and passes out b4 the inevitable "bad mood" happens !! If I go shopping r anything like that r family's outings he thinks he gets to go to the bar since he graced us with his presence I end up saying don't bother coming at all!! I feel he uses any excuse to drink and the saying that they have to hit "rock bottom " before the will admit they need real help I just don't knowhow we're supposed to just wait around and wait for it to happen - to just wait for a already bad situation to get ten times worse !! It hurts so much as a sober man he is the most Amazing man and brilliant Dad that's why I think I'm not quite ready to leave but also as great of a sober man he is also a mean alcoholic I definitely hav to try get my hands on that book !!

What you're holding onto is a dream, but dreams aren't real. He isn't going to change until he's ready. You can live your life around it, you can learn ways to cope and how to not grow bitter and resentful (super hard) but you don't have to just wait.
You can take your life back and make the choice. You don't have to leave but like ceecee said you can live your life
Like he doesn't even exist. Make plans without him, rely on friends and family - people who truly are there for you. Right now he's the center of your world, time to show him that your life doesn't revolve around him and his alcoholism. Xxx

Your probably right learning patience for I think maybe I keep expecting him to turn into the person he was b4 but I have to accept that person is gone !!

And yet we have another Saturday where he goes out gets blind drunk only this time his boss owed him some money so after he came back drunk he got his money after trying to cause a huggge!! Argument with myself then wasn't getting anything from me so started on my son