I finally had the strength to leave my AH after his fourth relapse. After he realized I was seriously gone, he decided on his own to go back to a rehab center. One of the most important things his therapist helped him understand was that it was my timeline he had to follow. It was also my life he had screwed up and if he expected to get me back it was up to me to say when, where, and how. Wow, was I glad to have somebody try to explain that to him. I am fortunate that my children are grown and I do not need to worry about that situation. (I'm 63). I've also read about PAWS.( he actually gave me the info.)I guess that means it's better I'm not seeing him now. Two phone calls a week is what I decided for my timeline. I'd like to think we can be together for the holidays but I need to see how he his progressing. Al Anon is helping me, and I just need to keep my resolve strong. Hopefully my daughter and son- in law can put up with me for that long. I miss my AH terribly but I also enjoy laughing with my grandkids- I haven't laughed in a long time. Wish me luck.