Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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The cluelessness just kills me!

loublue22
loublue22

Dumbass (that’s what I’m calling him today) went out boozing last night. I spoke w him around 1030p, he slurs that he’s got a ride home, he’s coming home. Ok, I tell myself, he’s not driving. So I fall asleep. Two hours later he’s still not home. So I go to my head and start the worrying... Is he dead? Did he decide to drive? Is he in jail? Did he fall in the street and get hit by a car? Is in the hospital? Is he passed out at a bar? Then I tell myself I HOPE he’s in jail. That’s my out. I can then pack his bags, pick him up from jail and take him straight to some weekly-rate hotel and say “Later, Dumbass.” But no, he stumbles in around 130am. Passes out in bed. He doesn’t go to work today. He’s just doing what he does. I’m out and about working and running kids around and he calls me like 5 times. I ignore each call. After the 6th call, I text him to leave.me.alone! His response? A thumbs up emoji. Seriously?! Then he sent another text, “I just wanted to see if you’d take me to my car.” I mean, I’m laughing right now. DUMBASS!! A clueless dumbass! F*% NO, I’m not taking him to get his car. HIS PROBLEM. Ugh!!! (I feel much better getting this out. Even if no one reads it, I feel better. Thx!) Oh, these little mood faces below... we need an angry face.

Alex265
Alex265
Sounds clueless indeed. Mine went to jail, got a DUI and that was the best thing that happened to him. He still.drinks but not nearly as much as he use to. Exit plan still in place, just less of a daily headache for me. Prayers for you and your kiddies
boymom19
boymom19
I’m so so sorry you’re going through this!! Praying he grows up
jms7229
jms7229
I read it! My dumbass is buying a car today ( don’t even let me get started about that fiasco). This car was supposed to be the magic bullet to happiness, sobriety, and a kinder gentler man. Well , when you are f*d up on tranquilizers you CANNOT figure out even the simplest tasks. I’m sitting here watching him, it’s beyond pathetic, but I’m morbidly fascinated. This morning we went to the diner for breakfast , when we were leaving he had his coat on UPSIDE DOWN! And couldn’t figure out what or how to problem solve it. Now THATS A DUMBASS.
loublue22
loublue22
@jms7229
Alex265
Alex265
Lol jms7229.. I'm sorry but that made me laugh
FedUp2021
FedUp2021
That's infuriating; I know. I remember when mine would go to pubs. He got arrested once and 3 times he got into fights. I never knew what would happen when he left the house and would stress for hours. Once some people came and woke me up at 3 or 4 in the morning, to go get him, as he was trying to fight everyone there. "Fun" times.
2Irish
2Irish
Loublu you touched on a nerve for us all. These spouses are clueless.
Basically selfish little children. The world revolves around them. After more than a decade of doing all and being all with no rewards of any kind I decided stop.
I stopped caring if the house was a disaster or HIS debts were paid. He is supposed to be an adult so basically forcing him to act like one. I was not his mother tasked to treat his every everything. I had wants needs being unfulfilled because of his cluelessness. So I quit - you do you. I do me. Once you decide to make an effort to be an adult I will be here. I changed my perspective and my stress has gone way down.
These AH spouses are spoiled children who never grew up. All the stories are 'fun times' and drunken antics. Sad for adults to not accept their role as a response adult with obligations. This disease grabs them when young and impressionable and ceases their emotional and mental development.

That is the one thing we all have in common in this support group none of us want to be in but are so grateful for having this 'sisterhood' listening to us vent.