My AH is seeing a psychotherapist for depression. This was an ultimatum I had given him back in January after a horrendous drunken episode. The ultimatus was that he needed to start seeing a therapist or I was leaving. He started seeing her mid February and he sees her once a week. However, he still drinks every weekend to excess and I just am so frustrated by it. He is a functioning alcoholic. He has a very good job but complains about it all the time. I think it is just an excuse he can use to drink. I was particularly unhappy this weekend because I had some minor surgery and he still went out and got plastered without considering me at home in pain. But he says I am the selfish one. So I left the house early yesterday and spent time with my sister and came home late in the afternoon. He obviously knew I was mad. He came down after he took a shower and he said he knew I was mad and that he was sorry for his behavior. This is only the 2nd time in 10 years he has ever apologized for his behavior while drinking. Then he proceeded to ask me what the top five things are that upset me when he drinks and he brought his little pad of paper to write this down. This is typical of him and so annoying. My anger came out and I said, he has to stop drinking. I hate how he behaves, it is embarrasing, I cannot communicate with him, I get disgusted by him, I don't feel safe, etc. Then he got upset with me because I raised my voice and all I was saying was negative things. Apparently, I don't recognize how hard he works (so do I, a full time job and a part time job), I didn't recongize the note he left for me to get well soon after my surgery, I didn't recognize that he made me breakfast the next day (which I did tell him thank you and that it was very good), it just went on and on about how I don't give him positive reinforcement. It is like dealing with a child. I told him I guess I am not giving him the positive reinforcement that he expects from me and that in his eyes makes me selfish and that is why he drinks. Now we are getting back to my behavior being the cause of his drinking. I am really getting to the point of contacting an attorney and finding out my options. I am in my early 40s and not sure if I can go through another 10 years or more of this. Do I give him more time with his therapist? Do I call his therapist and tell her what is really going on because I don't know if he tells her the truth. We had one session when I was invited to meet his therapist and she clearly pointed out that before we can even work on our relationship he needs to deal with his alcohol use and his depression needs to be moderated. If he continues to abuse alcohol, his depression cannot be treated properly because alcohol counteracts the medication. I am just so stressed out and so close to being ready to give up. I am just so scared to do so. Any one have a husband who is extremely needy like this. I assume this is typical behavior?