Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
This morning I went to wake my daughter and found a letter she wrote. It was so beautiful talked about each of us in the family and how she loved us for being in her life...so beautiful! Than there was an arrow that read next page. I turned page and that's when I read her letter to God. She prayed daddy would stop drinking. And mommy would stop feeling overwhelmed, sister wouldn't cry and yell at dad, and maybe her other sibling wouldn't worry so much. I'm heartbroken! I don't even know where to begin...I feel for my children. I want to leave my husband to save my kids from this heartache, but he's proven we are all he has and will turn to become an even bigger alcoholic as I know he can become. I feel that it would be far more devastating for my kids to see him in that way, but I don't know. All I do is pray! I have no one else to lean on or talk to.
You do have someone to lean on. You have us, here. We understand, and will listen. Even when we don't post a reply or have the words to say, we understand and are listening. Feeling alone is one of the worst parts of having an alcoholic spouse. We already feel alone in our marriages. To feel alone in the world as we deal, day in and day out, with the chaos that alcoholism brings to a family, is horrible. I sometimes think, if only my husband could read a site like this, surely he'd do the work and make the changes needed to maintain sobriety. But he can't. He can't see alcohol as a problem. He sees it as a "solution" to his problems. Anything I say falls on deaf ears. So I pray that God will open his eyes. And I pray that God will show me how to help my kids and myself.
I've spent a lot of time in prayer and reading my Bible. In fact, that is the one blessing to all of this, that I find myself seeking God, more. I will pray for you and your family. This is heart-breaking stuff that we're dealing with.
Sending you hugs.