Hello!  This is my second post. This just keeps getting harder for me.  My husband of course will not talk to me about his drinking, "he doesn't want to talk about it" But I do.  I feel like I have cried myself to sleep for the last time (probably not) the other night.  He had of course been drinking before I got home and continued to drink then got so mad at me because I did something to the stupid TV remote.  So I was fed up and sent him a long text message the next morning when I was at work (I know that is not the right way but the only way I can get him to listen to me). Telling him how much he hurts me and it is not fair to our 6mth old who he is watching while he is drinking mind you.  And that I am going to have to either stay home to watch him or find someone else to while I am at work as I am not comfortable with how much he is drinking.  Of course he said we are his world and he hates that he hurts us and knows he has to change.  So he did....for a day!  We have done this before.  Then a day later he is back to drinking again before I get home while watching baby.  I wouldn't be so upset if he just had 1 or 2 beers, but he obviously can not do that!  Now he is splitting his drinking between two bottles probably thinking I wont know he drank as much as he did when I check them.  But I could just tell the state he was in when he called me at 2:00 in the afternoon!  Thank you for the response to my first post I know I need to make a change and probably quit my job to stay home with baby as he is most important.  I know my husband loves him with all his heart and would never purposely hurt him, he would be devestated.  I feel like god has opened a window for me, I have been presented with a job opportunity to work at home that is very flexible so I can take care of my son.  But I have been having a hard time with accepting.  It only pays half of what I make now and I have climbed a long way at my current job without a degree.  In my heart I feel like I need to take the job for my son, but my family is having a hard time with it.  They also think I will be enabling my husband if I do so.  But I don't know what else to do if I am not ready to leave him yet.  I need to stick with at least one of the things I tell him I am going to do.  And I know he does not want me to take the job because of the $$.  We have been together for 15 years now, started going out senior year.  He was not at all like this then.  He had a strong Karate background and did not really care about drinking.  I was the trouble maker!  Of course now he is being extra sweet to me and that almost makes it harder!!  I feel bad when he is trying to love me up and I love him but all I feel is anger and resentment.  Sometimes I feel he doesn't deserve my love.  I feel bad for feeling this way.  I am confused on what I should do and yet at the same time know what I should do and I am maybe just scared.  Feel like I am doing wrong to my son if I don't quit and stay with him.  I cant really afford daycare and if I do end up leaving in the end I really would not be able to afford daycare.  So it seems like the lower paying job might be the ticket?  I don't think he will change anytime soon and when he does from what I have read sounds like we will be dealing with this for the rest of our lives at some level.  I don't feel like he can just have some alchol in his life as he doesn't seem to be able to stop once he starts, or maybe he just doesn't want to?  But he can go to work and not drink?  How does that work?