Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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jms7229 07/21/2016

So AH is of course deteriorating because he has been an al oholi. For over 40 years. There is no turning back for him. I have to be honest here and say that he functions fairly well for others but behind closed doors it's like living in purgatory. What I still, after all this time , what I still cannot wrap my head around is the lack of remorse. The absolute disrespect of feeling so superior that there is no need to apologize or offer so lice after a fight. I'm expected to pretend it's all okay and I believe his lies.... Or perhaps he is just a coward.

Cadeer 07/21/2016

It's amazing to me how they function in the world only to come home and pull s Jekyll and Hyde. So many times I've been told that I need to ease up on him when I panic in social situations. It'd because the world doesn't know I'm going home to hell. But then the next day, he goes to work and makes a decent living.
You are right, they don't apologize because they are too cowardly to admit that perhaps the problem is with them. I hope it helped to get it out there. Go do something just for you. You deserve it. I know this because all of us here do for what we endure.

invisibleme 07/21/2016

I know what you mean. I keep hoping for an "I'm sorry for what I've put you and the kids through". People say it's a disease. But if I had something like MS, and the rest of the family had to pitch in, for me, I'd be apologizing and thanking all over the place. I think it goes back to a sense of entitlement. Anything they do, they believe they're entitled to do. It makes is so difficult to be sympathetic or compassionate with them.

jms7229 07/21/2016

Thanks my friends.

ExJerseyGirl2 07/21/2016

My AH is incredibly selfish and has no idea how much he has hurt me and the kids. Totally bad behavior -- it's like we don't matter. But we do. Let's never forget that.

jms7229 07/22/2016

This has been an awful week over here
Ugh

Cadeer 07/23/2016

Sorry you are having a bad week. I wish there was anything I could say to help, I just always try to remember there are still good days. Sending hugs.

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