In need of some solidarity and strength today. The SO is still struggling with anxiety and still drinking. It's obvious, isn't it? When they are drinking? Even when they blatantly lie to our faces? I'm pretty sure (without proof) he's been drinking the last few days, I found three new empty vodka minis, he denied having drunk tthem recently, and they always ask for your evidence like we should be following them around with a pen and paper for receipts. Why are you lying to my face? 

He went out today and i had a feeling he drank. He's not on mess anymore so there is a way he is when he's totally sober and anxious, and then there's the way he is when he's just started drinking. He fell asleep this afternoon, he only does that if he's been drinking. Then he wouldn't eat dinner with us. He DID but a bottle of wine I didn't ask for, and poured me a glass. He said, "oh I don't want any" but there was more than my glass missing. His mother Sked me (when he was sitting outside) is he ok and I said I'm pretty sure he's been drinking. She said, I asked him and he said no, he didn't want to. And I'm like, are you stupid? I said so you really believe that? Is that what your gut says? And she said, "I'm trying to believe" 

listen I get giving the benefit of the doubt but when you close your eyes and are blind to what's in front of you you aren't really helping. She is the one who says she is done she cant deal with this anymore and then she races out of the house the minute he calls and is in need. She follows him around the house and won't leave him alone when he's in his "moods"... how is that helping? She is a classic case of codependent and it's frustrating because it's like she has an attitude with me when I don't care that he's hurting. I'm sorry but he's hiding in the bathroom because he's made the choice to get drunk and he can't handle how that feels. How is that my problem? He SHOULD suffer. How can we teach our daughter to accept responsibility for her actions when he refuses and his mother won't let him? I know she wants to help him but honestly ... you can't make up for past failure in the present, not like this. I took the wine so he wouldn't keep drinking it. Later she says to me, "he's in a bad way"... and I said well I took the wine. And she said that's not what I meant. Ok but he's taking lorazepam and mirtazipine and he's drinking vodka. You really don't believe he's going to finish the goddamn bottle of wine? He drank half of one he bought for my dad just two days ago. It's so blatant it's slapping her in the face and we are both just letting him. I want to scream. 

More and more I'm contemplating the peace and happiness of just being with my daughter. It's the logistics that have me, but my two jobs are starting to bring in more money, maybe I'll be able to save enough to get the heck out. He won't grow up. I can't keep doing this, and it's not even about can't it's about I don't want to.