Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Singer78 03/28/2018

I am just over being married to an A.H. I dispise his behavior! I am tirrd of feeling depressed. I have had bad dreams about my dad passing away. Then last night I had a dream I caught my A.H. cheating on me again and the eoman was sitting there. I was screaming at her asking her if she knows he is an alcholic and telling her about the verbally abusive things he says. She just looked at me like I was really crazy. All of it I just cant stand any of it anymore. I constantly feel guilt over my daughter being in this. I feel like she will already be messed up and she's only two. How do I shield her? What have any of you done? If any of you have left your spouse, how has been since then? I am just trying to figure out what to do.

ellabella2 03/29/2018

I soooo know the feeling! I’ve had all the same feelings! I have a 7 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. We moved out of our house 11 days ago and it has been the best decision I’ve ever made. It has been confusing for the kids but we are so much happier! We are staying with my sister until I can afford a place of our own. My AH finally saw my kids yesterday. It was hard on the kids. When I picked them up and we got in the car they both started crying. They said they missed me and they’re sad that we can’t just be a happy family. But I just keep reassuring them that we will be happier not having to worry about him. Nights that my AH would drink and not come home, my poor little daughter would stress out about worrying over him. It’s been so nice not having to worry at night if he is going to come home or not and not having to worry about if he is going to come home and be psycho drunk. I know it would be so hard on you and your daughter but if you left now I feel like it would be easier than if you leave later when she is older. I stayed for as long as I did because I worry about him having them unsupervised. But honestly, I know it’s just a matter of time before he gives up on ever having them. I know my AH will never change and I’m ready to be happy. I’ve been so depressed for years. I have the worst anxiety because of him. I’ve had insomnia for the last 2-3 years. I’ve gained over 70lbs over the last few years. I feel like a shell of what I once was. But in the last 11 days since I left, I have felt happiness, I’ve felt hopeful, way less anxiety, I’ve lost 8lbs! I feel like it’s just a matter of time until I’m back to the old happy me! I wish you all the best in whatever choice you make to either stay with your AH or go. Either way you and your daughter deserve to be happy! Hang in their friend! Hugs to you!

Newlife4me 03/29/2018

I left too, best decision I ever made! It’s never easy, but so worth it. Making tough decisions really helps build up your self esteem. The kids will fare better in the long run, not being exposed to all that the alcoholic brings. It is so freeing.

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