Been married to my husband 22 years. We dated a rocky 3-4 before and drinking was always a part of our nights out with friends. Never an issue where I was concerned w/alcoholism but I was blind because I prob just compared to his dad who drank every day after work or grandfather & uncle who died as drunks. Fast forward to the last 3 years & he s job alllws him to be home most of the time. Drinking began in the yeti cup "1 a day" then 2 but by then, the 30 oz yeti was 3/4 bourbon. He cut down a lot and decided no drinking at home. Over time, he frequented a neighborhood bar and I went many times but the last 6-8 months, he'd go on his own when I was at work or ask me to meet him when I got off. I guess I got so used to his behavior that it wasn't until the last month or so I realized how many times I thought we were having a conversation and he recalls nothing. We have the issue of him driving & he's been too lucky. He can't recall what he spends or how much he had & shows remorse, owns up he has an addiction that causes him to think of booze 24/7, & as of last wkd, he was caught lying that he wasn't at a friend's house but at a bar he promised he would never frequent again (rough, more like a dance hall, & we always said we don't go to places like that without the other because it's respectful). I feel like all respect and marriage guidelines we set are out the window. My teenager and older son are so hurt and want their dad sober. He yells at them all the time (& they deserve it sometimes bc they get lazy...but not the way he does it) and my heart just breaks. 

I know he needs to hurt rock bottom but only he can find out what that looks like. I'm just wondering if I should just have him leave now. I'm out of town this week and the kids said he was at he house of an old friend of ours & returned saying he'll be. Offing in there. He didn't drink last night & we talked tonight when he left the bar