Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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Sad and Depressed

angrylittleasiangirl
angrylittleasiangirl
So, I've gone through a range of emotions. Its been one week since I walked away from my AH. From Anger to Happy..to "I am woman watch me roar". Today is not a good day. It started with getting a case of missing my AH big time. Even though my rational mind told me that I'm at peace and in a much better place. I have so much to do to get my life back in order, like paying for the overdraft fee's and opening a checking and savings account which I did, only to find out that my new account is on hold, I have to call the bank on Monday. I have to find a permanent place to live (I'm on a waiting list for an apartment that I like), get my license un-suspended (I'm scheduled to do that on Tuesday), and find a car. In the meantime, my AH has emailed me, at first he's very sorry, then he's turned it around to say that its all my fault. His last email said, Donna I miss you, come home, I know you messed up, but I will overlook that. In everything that I've read, it says that they will blame you. But what I don't get is, why am I so sad, so depressed. I miss him, very much, but I know I can't live with him. What's wrong with me?
yw249
yw249
Nothing is wrong with you. Letting go is a slow process sometimes. The fact that he is blaming you is nuts. If you went back to him under those words he would feel he had you completely under his thumb and the violence would probably get worse. Keep trying to retrain your mind away from him. Find anything to take your mind off of him. Read a book, go for walks, focus on yourself. Focus on one moment at a time. Good luck.
bensmom85
bensmom85
So proud of you for taking those brave but difficult steps! Remember that you are worthy of being treated with respect and honesty. If possible, find a friend who can give you support without judgment. You are moving in a good direction- taking responsibility for your life and happiness. It will be a challenging journey but you will end up in a better place. Great beginning! Trust your instincts and not your emotions for now. Praying for strength and inner peace for you.
bonblue
bonblue
It's so scary trying to start over but it's all worth it
The peace and quite is all worth it.
Many prayers and hugs
Wishing you many wonderful days
shy2008
shy2008
the easy part is leaving and the harder part is keeping yourself from giving in, your alot stronger than i. I broke up with my AH and got back with him and this continued what seems like forever..i myself want to leave but i dont know what is holding me back, i can say my daughter's sake im staying. But im not happy staying, my carefree, adventurous spirit is struggling to stay alive from being taken over with anger, hurt, and stress. You dont want to go back feelin like i do. You keep doing what your doing, you dont have a reason to hold ties with him, find that place of being cherished and loved by someone who will treat you rite to make up for all those time you were without it. I will be rooting for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not a thing. Last year I had finally reached my breaking point. I decided to move out. I rented an apartment across town, and moved. It wasn't long before he found me, but was like you "watch and see". but a few days in I was a wreck. I even text him "I am so angry and sad - I feel like I lost my best friend and worst enemy at the same time". And yes He said it was my choice to leave. it was.... but that was not my point. My point was I missed him horribly and was so angry that he pushed me to do this. What we fail to see is we also have to take care of ourselves. We have to stand up for ourselves, and when we say what we are going to do - do it. You did. Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you, but focus all that energy on putting your life back together. In time maybe he will see why you did what you did, and that you are going to be ok. right now he is feeling lonely, and thinks it's just a threat. You can't do this on your own, so you will come back. Do what is best for you. Hang in there!