I’m so sorry for you and you little one. Living with an alcoholic is so very difficult. I understand your anxiety, and anger. I’ve been married 37 years, the last 15 have been as you describe. My advice : educate your self! Read the self help books. There are some really good you tube talks I found under “ detach from alcoholic spouse”. I recently attended my first al-anon meeting and I was surprised at how helpful it is.
I send my support.

Jms7229 Thank you for your support. This has been an extremely difficult day. He has not contacted me at all. I have no idea where he is. I just couldn't take it anymore. I am not even sure If I eant to stay married at this point. The constant roller coaster ride of emotions. Also what will this show my daughter if I stay with him.

Singer, I was you not too long ago. My divorce became final in February of this year and it was a long road to get there. I had two children and I basically put up with his crap for about eight years of progressively worsening drinking. The last few Christmases we were together, were ruined by alcohol, and I’ve vowed I was not going to let that continue.

His drinking and lying around drunk and watching him stumble around the house, and not being able to have a coherent conversation with him, was definitely witnessed by the kids. I can’t even begin to count how many sleepless nights I had due to being so angry at him for ruining family moments with alcohol. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I filed for divorce. His behavior was having a bad effect on my daughter, who didn’t like to be around (drunk) him and so she spent way too much time alone in her room. I could visibly see a change in her and that she was not as happy as she had been before. That was a wake up call for me. Once I had him leave the house, it felt peaceful. We are all doing quite well.

Newlife4me,
I have been formulating a plan as far as what is going to come next. I need to do further research the legal sides of things. I have lots of questions. It may take 6 months to a year to make everything work. The whole situation saddens me.

You are not alone. I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 5 years as well. We don’t have children though. My AH decided to break his sobriety yesterday after 1 year. He has got progressively better but after 13 years total of putting up with his addiction, I can’t go back to the chaos.

Sometimes ultimatums are the only way to stabilize your life. I stayed up all night after he left and now that he’s home, I can’t even be around him for Christmas. This is my worse Christmas ever and I’m heartbroken.

I pray for the family of alcoholics/addicts all the time because it is such a lonely, chaotic life. Just know you are not alone.

It’s good to have a plan - it made me feel like I was in control, since I had no control over his drinking. I also felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s extremely sad, but there is happiness again after the sadness fades away, and it will fade.

My guess is that he did not contact you so he could continue to drink. Nothing to do with you and your daughter.or a For a drunk, the next drink is what is important, apologies come later.

You are there for your daughter and that is the best present you can give her.

I agree with the advice to have a plan, and then act on it.