Met mine at 19 and married for 25. Can totally relate. I am going to school and working part time. The extra
Job is a great idea., especially for the evenings when I can't get out to do a hobby away from the house. ultimately when I'm finished with school or he just gets too intolerable I'm gone. Life is to short!!

Thanks for the shout back P-girl. Awesome. Yeah my exit strategy is going to take about five (long ass painful) years. That's okay. I got this. You obviously got this too.

We just have to remind ourselves to have patience. Who knows, maybe he'll get his shit together but I am not planning on it and doing what's best for me and the boys.
Stay strong !!

Yep. LOTS of patience. Keeping my eyes on the prize of getting OUT of this situation. Mine won't even attempt to get his shit together unless I leave and I don't think he will be able to do it then either. If he can, great, but he's 52 so I think that window has closed. Later skater!

Hey there P-Girl. I'm back. Update: Forget 5 years. If things follow "the plan" then I'm out sometime next fall. A-Hole got drunk on Thanksgiving and announced that he wasn't "going to partake". (Yes, I'm serious.) Our son drove 6 hours to be with us and his sister was there too. That was it. I'm done. He's a waste of my time. I've figured out the financial impact of going forward with a split, and it'll be tight, but I'll be able to do it. The only potential problem is the cost of the lawyer (OUT-rageous!! $6,000 if he prepares the separation agreement and we end up in a contested divorce because my husband is an asshole that won't negotiate like an adult).
I'm hoping that my drunk-ass husband will sign a (fair) separation agreement that I draw up on my own (free) and then we can just get a no-contest divorce in six months. MUCH less expensive but he's a jerk so I can totally see him not being cooperative.
I'll keep you posted. I hope all is well with you and your boys and that your Thanksgiving went better than mine. Hope school is going well for you too. Later....

fingers crossed you get him to deal with a free version, but he sounds like a petty asshole. have you considered trying to get legal aid? i don't know where you live but i'm in canada and they told me if i claimed domestic violence (it wouldn't be a lie, there were many threats and he laid his hands on me a few times when he was black out drunk - lucky him he doesn't remember) that i would have a better chance getting legal aid and they would have been able to hook me up with a "lion" of a lawyer. we're common law since 2013 and we own a home but because my name is not on the house and we aren't married i have very few rights when it comes to the house, but i would for sure be getting primary parentage of my kid! see what your options are, it doesn't hurt, that's for sure, and legal aid may make your life a lot easier.

Good Morning LP! Canada eh? :) I'm in Virginia. Yes, he's a petty asshole. No, I had not thought of legal aid. I will definitely check that out and see if that lion-lawyer hook up is something I can get here in the states. That sucks about you not being on the deed to your house. Hey, at least you aren't on the hook for paying the mortgage if you leave, and if HE doesn't pay then it won't affect YOUR credit (I guess that's how it goes in Canada too?) Domestic violence not an issue here - anymore. That stopped about 1990 (I was 22 and stupid at the time). He got a job that he would lose if they found out. Awesome. He doesn't have a college education so this job was a huge opportunity that he can't afford to lose. Awesome. So anyway he's just verbally (very) abusive. I got some nice texts from him last night before I clocked in to my second job. His drunk ass thinks I'm fooling around on him with somebody I work with. NOT. He threatened to come up there at some point to confront my co-workers. He won't do it. That's okay. Keep sending those texts asshole. I've found out that if I can prove I'm in a possibly dangerous situation then the whole game changes as far as leaving and not getting slapped with an abandonment charge. ANYBODY READING THIS WHO IS YOUNG, ESPECIALLY IF NO KIDS YET, LEAVE!!! Don't wait around for rehab to work (Sorry kids but most times it don't work. Check out stats on that if you don't believe me) If he gets his shit together on his own then he'll come back and prove it to you. DON'T BE US.
LP, start formulating a plan. Pay off any bills that have your name on them if you think you won't be able to pay them when you're on your own. Maybe get your fam to help out? (I don't have that option.) I'm soooo close to getting out of this sitch that I CAN TASTE IT!!!

Hi Ginny and good for you! I still have kids at home so no part time job for me I’m swamped, but trying to pay off as many bills as I possibly can and not taking on new debt. Just in case I find a window of opportunity. My AH has been back and forth with sobriety so I’m not holding my breath. Just praying for a good weekend.

Hey there Faith. Did you know that your bio says that you're 14? I'm thinkin that might be a typo? Haha! I sure hope so! Anyway I hope you had a good weekend.. I got the tree up and had some Christmas music playing and I thought I might give you and LP and P-Girl a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah shout out. It can get tough this time of year but focus on those kids because they make it awesome.