AHs can be impossible. You give them an inch, they take a mile and a half.

I served my AH with divorce papers at the end of August. Immediately following, he went into treatment. Only made it a week before they recommended a different facility. He didn't go to another. He did good for awhile - attended AA meetings, fixed the wall in the house that he had damaged, updated his resume, started applying for jobs, stayed sober, etc.

We were working through the divorce issues amicably. He needed me to compromise on him moving out of the house until he got a job and I needed him to compromise so I could pay off debt in order to buy the house from him.

I had put in temporary orders for sole custody of my daughter and primary use of the house and car. Because we were amicable, I canceled the hearing and we agreed to postpone finalizing the divorce until after the first of the year.

Well, he went back to drinking, of course. He had agreed that if he went back to drinking he would move out immediately. I told him he had until the weekend to sober up or to get out. He sobered up. The following week went okay. The next weekend, back to drinking.

The issue? I'm out of town this week and my daughter is there with him. I found him drinking the day before I left. Insisted that my daughter stay with a friend this week while I'm away. He refused. Got nasty. Promised he'd stay sober this week and wouldn't put her in an unsafe situation. Yeah right.

I got a text from my neighbor that he could hardly walk when he came to get her. I got an email from my daughter that things weren't going well. I called and called and called. No answer. I left messages. No callback.

Finally, I had a friend go get her. My daughter walked out the front door and went home with them. My AH was "sleeping". She left him a note. Now my friends are all stressed that he could file kidnapping charges against them, etc. It's terrible. If he would have just agreed to let her go over there in the first place, we wouldn't be in this situation.

So now... compromising is over for me. I'm done paying his bills. I'm done paying for the house. I'm going to refile the paperwork, find a place for her and I to live and I'm moving out (or if I'm able to, I'll get him out - unlikely, but worth a shot).

It's infuriating that they can manipulate so well. Get us to bend and give them the benefit of the doubt. All for the sake of the next drink. Grrrrrr....