Why is it they say we are in control when all we ask is for them to stop drinking and they continue???? I had so much to perpare for and all I asked for was some help, our kids and since my sister passed away I have her grown kids and babies come over we celebrate Christmas morning with breakfast and gifts. It was going to be atleast 35 people at my house at 8am! Saturday I finished up Christmas and grocery shopping (he never offered to help shop - but did pitch in money) sunday I cleaned and cooked all day not going to bed before 11 the past 3 nights.... it started saturday night (it's about that time for him to get lucky) it doesn't matter that i'm the one that has to make sure everything is done before I can go to bed, he can drink all day and pass in and out he gets the rest he needs and wants. I had to make him get up Christmas morning to help or he would have laid in bed until everyone showed up! He was sober being it was 630am... Family came it was nice they left and he actually sat around, didn't rush to the liquor store. The plan was for us to go together to visit his mom, that didn't last long before he decided he would go ahead. Hit the liqour store of course! I feel like I was being civil didn't ignore but I didn't shower him with attention while visiting. Got home after 8pm at this point i'm exhausted but still had to clean some before bed and get ready for work today, as soon as I hit the bed... here he comes and yes he expects me to be all lovie dovie! When rejected it starts, I don't love or want him, and all the nonsence that follows from the past 30 yrs. He had the nerve to say he's only drank bad the past few years. Need to do a memory check dude because I rememeber different! Sorry to go on and on but i'm just so tired I got maybe 3 hrs of sleep i'm at work now and when I left he was still laying in the cozy warm bed! Being nice I tried to kiss him bye, he pulled the covers over his head. What are you 5??? 30 yrs have been so long I just don't know how to continue, how to pretend anymore??? I know all I have to do is let him drink and give into him once or twice every few weeks. How hard should that be? Pretty Dang Hard! 

So who's in control? Sure isn't me!