Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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No longer have any sympathy for alcolohics..fed up

Alex265
Alex265

After my AH received multiple DUIs he was forced to wear a bracelet that detects alcohol and if it detected any alcohol even from mouthwash that would send him to jail. He went 7 months on the bracelet..alcohol free. Of course on the FIRST  day after he gotten it removed he bought a bottle.of vodka and finished it in one sitting. 


Im so fed up. I wish I wasn't in the position where I'm financially dependent on him. I always let myself down by rethinking our relationship whenever he gives me even a glimpse of hope. I dont understand it theres million of non alcoholic men in this world why am I wasting my short life on this earth suffering when I dont have to. 


Some days I really just think about picking up and just leaving and figure it out as I go. If it wasn't for my kids I would do that in a heartbeat.


Is anyone in a relationship with an alcoholic and already mentally left the relationship. I already (in my mind) went through the breakup phase..I just need to sign the papers and move on with my life. It's so hard. Ladies I highly advise if you're not financially bounded. Leave now. 


It doesnt get better. You deserve so.much better. Eve. If theyve been sober for a year..alcoholism isnt something you cure and that's it. When they become sober ..any day they decide to drink the cycle starts all over again. It's like having this ticking bomb attached to you and you dont know when it will go off. 

loublue22
loublue22
Hi. On your question of if anyone has mentally left their relationship - yes, I have. After years of watching someone slobber, slur, stumble, get arrested, guzzle from bottles and on and on, hell yes, feelings change. It’s hard to respect someone after seeing those things, no matter how much you love them. I checked out in many ways years ago. My AH doesn’t drink every day; he’s more of an abuser of alcohol WHEN he drinks. That’s the only reason I choose to still be in this marriage. When he’s sober, he’s great. When he’s not, he’s not.
2Irish
2Irish
We do not get to choose who we fall in love with. Only who we allow to abuse us.
This group exists to allow emotional release and spiritual growth. I am very happy to have found it.
I have checked out mentally one removed myaelf from caring but discovered he either did not notice or did not care and I was the one suffering. I now make the decision daily to be courteous but not loving
This man is a friend not a lover. A kind hearted person but not a provider. I am responsible for my feelings.
boymom19
boymom19
Yes I have definitely checked out mentally.. I think my mind and heart have been building walls to protect myself for a while now.
jms7229
jms7229
I have also checked out, I have a friend who calls it “ indifferent” I suffered through 38 mind bending years of dysfunction . Yup, I’m still here, but financially entangled. I love my new condo, the community and the modestly comfortable lifestyle. I Refuse to let his addictions take another thing away from me. So at 63.... I’m am pursuing my own life and doing things that make me happy. He is virtually never involved.
Do I backslide ? Yes, when the nice guy surfaces I tend to believe it’s going to be better only to be disappointed again. But I have great friends, hobbies and activities I enjoy. And I am working hard on remembering that I am responsible for my own happiness and my own baggage. NOT FOR HIS. He needs to take care of himself and find his own purpose.