Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Hi all!
Just wanted to post something because I'm feeling frustrated, disappointed, and unsure. I already suffer from depression as it is, and between the virus concern, working from home, and starting a new job (being trained at home!), my husband's increase in drinking is really pushing me into the depths....
I know his patterns: once he gives in to the craving, the frequency increases from every 2 months, to 1 month, two weeks, weekly.... he just drank yesterday and DROVE home. I didn't bother asking how much he drank. A month ago he drank alone at a bar while waiting to see his DOCTOR for a checkup!! Like it can't be smelled on his breath??? So far he's sticking to beer, but I know it can grow to more. He's been a lot worse than this, and he went thru an outpatient program successfully. We've discussed that he needs that again, and how this is affecting me & my depression & my feelings for him. We've learned that addiction is not something that can be just be controlled on your own... and I can't seem to find any online AL-ANON groups for me (since in-person meetings are now out of the question). I'm thankful my husband isn't worse off, but it's bad enough. He admits he can't stop with one drink. And yet I'm over here wishing I could get drunk!!!! I've had my own struggles in the past (before being married).
It's just such a mess. I'm thankful for finding this group.
I really feel all your words! At this point I am frustrated like you. I hate feeling controlling of her but hate how she portrays herself to others; like you say, do they not think others can smell the alcohol or hear the slur of their voice? I feel so lost and alone and came across this forum in an attempt to seek others who are going through similar things. I have no idea who to turn to; what to do or how to fix this all, cause it feels so deep
let them affect us. Believe you me, easier said than done, but today, I’m stronger than his drinking. He’s making a choice and so am I. I choose to mentally and emotionally separate from him tonight. (And tomorrow bc the next days are almost worse.) I hope all of us have peaceful days ahead whether our alcoholic spouses lay beside us or not. Peace to all.
when i found this group, the weight lifted off my shoulders. we glean little bits of amazing insight when others share experiences. BTW thank you cjeddy for adding your special insight. you hit the nail on the head. those who are not afflicted with the disease alcoholism and want to drink socially have a wide range of emotions to sort through when we are in relationships with those suffering from the disease.
Who we are and what we want doesn't matter and after years and years of this it wears us down to nothing. When I bring up how his addiction RUINED my life I get the eye rolls and the "here we go" statements.
Sorry you are going through this. The people on this site and friendly, understanding, and wonderful. You have come to the right place. Self care is extremely important and you are taking the right steps to get some of this poison off of your chest. Welcome!
<3