Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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New to site, feeling alone in my marriage

Dianeb135
Dianeb135

My AH (hopefully it means what I think it means from reading other posts) just admitted that he has a real problem on Easter morning. He has been doing the tapering method and all has been going well except for today. He watches our 1 year old during the day (he only drinks at night) and today he admitted that he yelled at her. When I told him to go to our room to get a little down time he remarked that at least I get breaks at work. Our child is a really good sleeper and will at most take 3 hour naps, minimum 2 hours. He also doesnt really do anything around the house accept take care of the 1 year old, which I'm okay with because she is a bit demanding. So I end up doing most of the cleaning when I get home, and he sits on the couch complaining about how hard he has it. I'm starting to feel resentful and I don't know how to stop it. In my head he's lazy when he doesnt help me. He's starting to feel more like a babysitter than a parent.

Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
It doesn't sound like a lot of fun for you. Has he tapered to zero drinking yet? Is that his plan?

I wonder if you are making the child care situation worse by taking on all of the cleaning when you work all day. Maybe the two of you should have a conversation about reasonable division of labor around the home.
Dianeb135
Dianeb135
That sounds like a good idea. He has not tapered to zero yet. :( he has been doing really good about not going beyond his allotted amount.
learningpatience
learningpatience
as a stay at home mom, watching kids is hard, so i get that. my daughter didn't nap very well, if she napped at all :s... but i was also "supposed" to deal with cleaning the house and cooking etc., while i coped with post partum depression. it took a long time fo rmy AH to realize that we were both being unrealistic in our expectations. now, my DD is four and I'm still a stay at home mom, but i work from home (freelance), and i also clean, cook, deal with raising the kid, etc. my AH does not pick up the slack. he is not really in recovery, though we've been working on it. i detached becasue it's better for my sanity, especially now that i'm expecting a new kid. sometimes he does his part, but more often than not he's more concerned about what HE needs to do. we are due june 2. he wants to wait until the end of april for us to start getting the bedrooms ready (we're moving my daughter into a bigger room that needs to be painted and cleaned etc) and convert her room to the nursery. not to mention washing all the baby toys, the new clothes, etc. he hasn't done a thing. and he is only worried about himself. so i just go about my business and ignore him. it's the only way for me to get things done or else i'd be sleeping all day