Advice: Stay strong, stay hopeful, and be prepared for anything. Alcoholism is a cunning disease and just when you thing you've got it beat it comes from behind and bites you in the butt. All can do as wives is pray and hope that our husbands can defeat the demon before its too late. Some do and some dont and that the nature of the disease. I love my AH and for 10 years I have stood by and watched him self destruct. It is a difficult thing to do because you know their potential and you know beneath the cover of the disease they are incredible human beings with some of the most genuine souls. But the reality is life is hard enough without having to deal with alcoholism. We as wives have to protect ourselves and our children from the harm of this disease which means that we cannot put their disease at the center of our lives. Sure its something we have to deal with but it doesn't have to consume our lives as it has consumed our husbands. I do my best to take care of me, my children and my AH. Its not a perfect system but so far so good. I am financially secure, i work, i take care of myself by being active and try to socialize with good friends. Im not saying that I don't get upset or I don't struggle with the disappointment that my husband is an alcoholic but I do my best to remain optimistic even though I know the odds are stalked against us. Its a choice to stick around and fight the demon with the AH. Most will leave but I choose to stay because I love my husband and I choose to fight along with him. I might change my mind one day but for now I am hopeful and only time will tell. The key is to know that you have a choice and its in your control to decide when its time to let it go. I have peace with that knowing that no one can choose for me when and what I do and that I am in control of my own wheel. My AH knows this and I make it very clear to him that everytime he chooses to drink might be the last day I choose to stay. Best of luck on your journey.

Thanks for the response.

Welcome to the group kjmwife, the one thing I would have liked when my husband came home from detox (he never went to rehab) was some tools for how to "be" around him. What to do to help without being annoying. How to ask how he's doing without sounding like I was constantly checking on him. It would have been helpful to know. I suggest going to al anon or see a professional who can help you navigate what can be a very stressful, uncertain time. Another thing I wish I had done was to have a conversation with him before he returned about each of our expectations, boundaries, and the level of commitment to living a sober life as well as his plans for the next step, I regret not initiating that conversation.

Be prepared for anything, the good, the bad, expect that things won't always go smoothly, but there will be some smooth sailing too. Hope all goes well.

Yes I am so glad you brought that up Ginny03- I am meeting with his counselors, doing some family training with my husband , myself and a counselor as well all prior to him coming home. I used those exact terms that he will have this "tool box" filled with coping mechanisms etc and I will have nothing

That's great! So glad you'll have your own "toolbox!" Keep us posted, it'll be helpful to hear what they tell you.