Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Hi everyone,
I feel I am in a situation where I am trapped. My AH has recently lost his job for obvious reasons and has now deteriorated rapidly, he can´t eat and is having tremors several a day. I took him to the A and E where they told him his liver is badly damaged have referred him to a stomach specialist. He has fallen twice this week. I get woken several times a night because of his agitation and tremors. This has all happened in the last month since losing his job, although he was barely functioning beforehand.
We have an appointment with a councillor tomorrow and I am praying they take him in for detox but I just don´t know what isgoing to happen as we are in a foreign country where I´m unsure of the system. I do know that day by day he is losing his mind and he is becoming obsessive about certain things.
I am not looking for answers as I know there are none and it is up to him if and when he gets through rehab. I suppose I just want to vent after working my a** off for so many years and now I feel it has all been for nothing. IT is like looking after a child and I am so fed up with cleaning up his mess.
I live in fear of him killing himself as that´w what happened to his mother and also his brother. His brothers wife left him and he just drunk himself to death. I know I am the classic codependent and have real attachment issues. I am trying to be strong, I have a great job and good friends who all now know about his problem.
All I want to do is have a quiet peaceful life and enjoy my children and grandchild without all the drama. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I am at the point where I have to give in and focus on getting myself to a better place and stop being such a martyr.
I feel I am in a situation where I am trapped. My AH has recently lost his job for obvious reasons and has now deteriorated rapidly, he can´t eat and is having tremors several a day. I took him to the A and E where they told him his liver is badly damaged have referred him to a stomach specialist. He has fallen twice this week. I get woken several times a night because of his agitation and tremors. This has all happened in the last month since losing his job, although he was barely functioning beforehand.
We have an appointment with a councillor tomorrow and I am praying they take him in for detox but I just don´t know what isgoing to happen as we are in a foreign country where I´m unsure of the system. I do know that day by day he is losing his mind and he is becoming obsessive about certain things.
I am not looking for answers as I know there are none and it is up to him if and when he gets through rehab. I suppose I just want to vent after working my a** off for so many years and now I feel it has all been for nothing. IT is like looking after a child and I am so fed up with cleaning up his mess.
I live in fear of him killing himself as that´w what happened to his mother and also his brother. His brothers wife left him and he just drunk himself to death. I know I am the classic codependent and have real attachment issues. I am trying to be strong, I have a great job and good friends who all now know about his problem.
All I want to do is have a quiet peaceful life and enjoy my children and grandchild without all the drama. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I am at the point where I have to give in and focus on getting myself to a better place and stop being such a martyr.
deleted_user
His choice to drink, his choice to take his life, his choice to want help. Helplessness is a horrible feeling, seek help for yourself. I sought help from a personal addiction counselor, someone who had been through all the crap and it was the best thing I could have ever done. When you invest in yourself, the payoff is huge. You will handle things better, have clarity and make better decisions for you and your family. Best wishes.
Nancy49
Thank you for your reply and you´re right I must think clearly. My hubby is now on a detox and hasn´t drunk for one day (first in many years) I know he has a long road ahead of him and he must take responsibility for himself as must I. I just know that our relationship is extremely unhealthy for both of us and I really need to make some huge descision now and change my way of thinking, I have been so naive in the past and spent too long waiting for good times that have never materialized. I also know that my health and happiness is completely in my own hands and I must step up and make it happen for me and my family. I too have a strong addiction to break which is an addiction to misery and false hope and chasing dreams that become nightmares.
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