Welcome! This is a great site with lots of wonderful women sharing their experiences.

I understand the embarrassment. My AH gets drunk and calls people we haven't seen for 20 years. I can only imagine what they think. But we shouldn't be embarrassed; they are the ones who should be ashamed. I don't drink either. Mainly because I don't want my children to see both of their parents drinking. They're almost grown now so we have open conversations about our family predicament and our plan of escape.

I am working on detaching myself from what AH does that I find embarrassing. He has said really awful and embarrassing things to friends of ours, gotten so drunk he couldn't walk to the car at one evening gathering at my best friend's birthday, and pretty much made it a certainty that we'll never be invited to anyone else's house again. I know that I am not responsible for what he says or does, but I am responsible for having married him in the first place.

It really does help to read everyone else's stories. You're not alone, at all. Sending hugs.

Thank you all. I'm sorry that you are all going through this but it's good to know I'm not as alone as I thought.

You're definitely not alone! We can all help each other and I find great comfort in that.