Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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suemagoo 08/21/2018

So after posting on this a few times I'm again at my wits end with the only change is that my situation is getting worse so for my children 15 year old and 1 year old I have decided I need to leave or rather he needs to but he is the main earner in our home - he has no job due to alcohol but we receive a "family income" off social welfare but it all goes into his account so if I leave I'm left with nothing but I can't go on anymore so I'm really lost yesterday he hit my son "because he wouldn't tidy his room and today I caught him drinking a large bottle of vodka in the car with my baby daughter he tried to hide it behind her car seat - he won't and can't give up the alcohol but I can't stick around and let it ruin my children !! His family know what's going on but seems they prefere turning blind eye and letting me deal with it we have been together 10 years so it's hard but I have to think of my children but I really don't know what I can do financially as I don't work I have given him ultimatums but I really think he wants me to leave so he can just drink himself stupid!!! I feel so alone

sevier 08/21/2018

Oh I am so sorry! It sounds like you are doing the right thing for your kids but it is no doubt scary and uncertain. The first thing I would do is call the social welfare that you are getting the monthly money from and tell them the situation and that you will no longer be living with him and See what your options are about getting iall or part of the money into a different account that can just be for you and your kids. There is also other social services that could help you with food stamps or WIC or whatever else you may need. Do you have family that can help? Or a local church may help, even if you don’t attend. Like I said, I’m sure it seems so scary and overwhelming now but hopefully in the long run you and your kids will be much happier and healthier. Good luck to you!

suemagoo 08/22/2018

Thank you sevier , he left yesterday and came back driving the car absolutely completely drunk I couldnt let him back out and kill himself but I told him nothing had changed sent him to bed as I was watching tv down stairs then this morn I talked to him while he was sober gave him ultimatum- rehab or leave the house for good he tried to reason and say he could do it himself I said I can count how many times u have done that you just prove it doesn't work !! You need help he chose that he would leave over going to rehab and would stay in his mothers , but then we found out that his uncle had died so I couldn't tell him to leave I would been heartless cow so I just for tonight he could stay but only on the condition he doesn't go to the pub or have even so much as a sip of alcohol but we will see how it goes ,but I ain't changing my mind I can't stay here and be verbally abused and have the kids suffer in the long run if he wants to drink drive and drink himself stupid fine but I can't watch it happen anymore

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