Hello, I am new here.  I need to tell someone what is going on and I need advice.  After 18 years of my husband being an alcoholic, he has been sober for 5 years.  Until this last week, when he decided that he is tired of being the designated driver (friends kinds of make fun of of him and he always has to drive them around) and tired of not being able to drink.  He has been drinking a little every night, and Fridays and Saturdays are the worst.  He wants to be able to have a few drinks and stop, but I feel like he is going back into a downward spiral.  I don't think I can do this again.  I feel like I can't leave him alone because he might consume 12 beers or more while I am gone.  Then, he will start making phone calls to people, getting upset with them, and causing issues in all of his relationships.  

The last 5 years have been remarkable.  They have been so wonderful and I fell in love with him all over again.  This is crushing me and I don't know what to do.  He is going to drink, whether I like it or not.  He just is. I don't think I have the strength to go through this again.  I know it is something he really misses and wants to be able to enjoy.  I want him to be able to do that, but I can't watch him go back into his old patterns.  He doesn't see the things I am seeing in him and I am afraid.  I am very afraid.  I told him that and he acknowledged it, but I don't think he understands the emotional damage that was done to me during all of those years.  He thinks if stays out in the garage and doesn't bother me while he is drinking, that it is not effecting me, but it is.  I feel like a nag and a drama queen but I feel afraid and desperate.