Hey ladies. Just wanted to share my story and seeking any advice you may have. I have been married to my husband for 4 years. He is an amazing person and has always given his all to everyone he has ever met. We had what I thought the perfect marriage. We welcomed a beautiful little girl in November and when she was a month old I got the shock of a lifetime. I was on unpaid maternity leave and had not heard from my husband who was working for several hours which is unlike him. So I called a few times and he eventually answered. I could tell something wasn't right and after asking several times he eventually said he got fired. I didn't understand, he has said things were going so well at work previously. So when begging me him to help me understand why he finally said because I'm a fucking alcoholic. And I don't know if I am just that oblivious or he did a great job hiding it but I was completely blindisded. As I held my new baby I tried desprelty to wrap my head around it and not loose my shit. I called my mom and explained what had happened and just completely broke down. This wasnt my life and I wanted nothing more than to just scoop my little girl up and run away. I had no idea of the journey that was ahead of me. I was and still am so angry and just feel ruined. Fast forward 6 months and several week attempts to get sober later I feel ruined. I can't trust him, I'm constantly questioning his every move, I feel incerdiable alone, and he has stolen every happy memory that i should have of my daughter. Othe than my mom no body really knows what's going on. I am great at pretending nothing is wrong and putting on a face. After the last relapse I told him this was it. If he couldn't get it together than I was taking our little girl and getting out. He took her for a weekend at his mom's which is a few hours away and tonight I recieved some text messages that just didn't make much sense which has me of course wondering if he is drunk andHe wouldn't answer his phone so here I am still awake at 5am wondering if he was drunk, if my little girl is ok, what to do now, etc, etc. I just feel so alone and am at my breaking point i take marriage seriosuly and signed up for forever but i also dont want my little girl to live through this. Any advice would be appreciated.