Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I am very new to this site and don't really where to start.....
My boyfriend is an amazing person with a great heart and great potential, however he is also a binge drinker. I have seen him in bad positions because of the alcohol. When he is drinking he is not the same person I love and he knows this when he is sober. He knows he has a problem he has gone thru a lot of life altering situations with numerous deaths in his family and is using drinking as a way to deal with the pain. He knows this is wrong and he wants to get help he takes 5 steps forward in the right direction and then takes 10 steps back because he says its ok since he is going to get help on Monday.
I support him I care for him I love him and want nothing but this best for him, but when he is drinking he just tells me how much I don't understand what he is going thru, I try to explain to him that I don't know what he is going thru because I have not gone thru the same life problems he has but I kinda have an understanding because I have been the one by his side thru it all, I am just so lost right now and don't know how to help myself in the matter. I try to help him so much that I push myself to the side and when he is drinking so does he, My feelings or issues are never as important as his issues (in his eyes). As I am writing this my head just keeps spinning because there is just so much in my head that I truly don't know where to start or how to explain what is going on, I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation or was in a similar situation, Al-anon is something I have been considering but right now I really need someone to talk to who can understand me and my current situation.Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thank You.
My boyfriend is an amazing person with a great heart and great potential, however he is also a binge drinker. I have seen him in bad positions because of the alcohol. When he is drinking he is not the same person I love and he knows this when he is sober. He knows he has a problem he has gone thru a lot of life altering situations with numerous deaths in his family and is using drinking as a way to deal with the pain. He knows this is wrong and he wants to get help he takes 5 steps forward in the right direction and then takes 10 steps back because he says its ok since he is going to get help on Monday.
I support him I care for him I love him and want nothing but this best for him, but when he is drinking he just tells me how much I don't understand what he is going thru, I try to explain to him that I don't know what he is going thru because I have not gone thru the same life problems he has but I kinda have an understanding because I have been the one by his side thru it all, I am just so lost right now and don't know how to help myself in the matter. I try to help him so much that I push myself to the side and when he is drinking so does he, My feelings or issues are never as important as his issues (in his eyes). As I am writing this my head just keeps spinning because there is just so much in my head that I truly don't know where to start or how to explain what is going on, I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation or was in a similar situation, Al-anon is something I have been considering but right now I really need someone to talk to who can understand me and my current situation.Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thank You.
I am sending you hopes and prayers that he will change. I'm also sending you strength. Uses this strength to set some boundaries. Do some soul searching to identify what you're willing to live with and what you need to live without. Put some thought to what if he doesn't change? Are you willing to stick it out? Would you leave? If so, after how long? Put this to paper and commit.
It's easy to watch years go by and not realize that years have gone by. This is why I recommend the boundaries and conviction now. If it does come to that, at least you'll be prepared and be ready to follow-through. If it doesn't come to that, you'll have demonstrated strength along the way and will be better because of it.
Best of luck!!