Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I have been reading posts for awhile to get some insight and info. My story quickly. I have been married 22 years. No kids. Our life has been good. He and I were social drinkers for 18 years. He had gastric bypass. After a year or so his drinking became a problem. He is self employed, his work started to suffer. I am employed and can take care of our finances. He started taking hydrocodone when his back went out, kept drinking. He went to detox twice last year. He is no longer taking pills, but he did not like AA and the treatment, in denial. Did not help him. He drinks beer/wine all day, not to much trouble, but now when he decides to buy liquor, he drinks so much till he is in bed, doesn't eat, or shower for days then comes out of it and works a couple weeks then does it again. I came home from work and he was sitting on comode, blood all over floor, he had fallen, face plant I guess, six cuts, broken nose, ugly. I hope this is his wake up call. I am searching for an Al anon meeting that I like. Think I found one today. Proud that I did not yell at him while cleaning up mess. He is going to be so bruised. One day at a time. Just had to vent. I am grateful that he is a "feel sorry for myself drunk" and never abuses me, drives, goes to jail. He is like a bum on the street, but has a roof, bed and food. I hope that this event will wake him up. His Mom died from diabetes and the effects of alcohol. His younger brother has been sober for many years and is a regular AA member. I know that I cannot do anything but make sure his basic needs are met and make sure I take care of myself and maybe he will come around one day. I do love him, we had such a good life, and now he has no friends anymore. I am so sad for him.
For the first time, he volunteered to go to detox this afternoon. My daughter and I checked him in, went through the assessment and all, then I came home and went back to the hospital to bring some clothes, toiletaries, etc. Then the nurse told me that he had checked himself out. He came home two hours later, in taxi cab, after he had walked to a bar to have more drink. He is an idiot. So answer to your question of whether your husband has hit bottom, it's hard to say. Everytime I think my AH has hit bottom, things can go worse, so I don't know if there is such a thing "hit bottom" for alcholism. He even had a car accident and got DUI over 10 years ago. That didn't help either.