Finally found the guts to move on from my AH.  Saw a lawyer on Monday.  Doing everything I need to do to protect my two little ones until he hopefully recovers from his addiction.  But, our marriage is 100% over.  

At this point, my AH is treating our kids like possessions, like pawns, like tools.  He had the nerve to say that he deserves the custody of the kids because I cannot financially support them.  He is trying to have discussions without our lawyers in hopes that we agree about custody.  I don't think so, bud.  Oh - did I mention he is an attorney himself.  Also, he is currently working his way through a legal matter - a 2nd DUI with an extremely high (as in close to death) BAC.  

At this point, I am frustrated, exhausted and increasingly frightened.  He is not anywhere near stable and his world is crumbling around him.  

However, even with all this chaos, I am so hopeful for a happier life.