He walked in from work late with gym bag over shoulder. Stood by the fireplace and wobbled a little..first clue. Movements were slow and deliberate as he walked to his chaise to sit; sat slow and deliberate while squinting...more clues. Pulled himself all the say back in his chair and slowly and deliberately folded his hands behind his head and squinted more. Began asking the boys a weird question that didn't make sense; he tried to repeat it to no avail. The boys leave for a movie with friends and I ask him if he has been drinking and he blows up on me. I shouldn't have asked since I knew he had been. He's been sober for about 8 months but I've had a few suspicions here and there but noting as concrete at last night. My youngest son confides in me that a couple of months ago he saw a bottle in the back of his dads car but didn't tell me cause he didn't want to cause trouble. I told him he was ok but that hiding it for dad doesn't help him and makes it worse.

My only goal is to protect my children. I have my own account that I established last year. I took a computer class last spring and Im currently enrolled in a certification program that will end in the spring. I'm just moving forward. He will either get help and overcome and follow me or get left behind. I just cannot do this another 10-20 years at the expense of my mental and physical health. I just cant. And yes, I love him. He is my college sweetheart.