Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Leaving

ginger7657
ginger7657

For those of you who have left or knows someone who has...how do you deal with it when you have kids together?! I can’t even imagine leaving my kids with him alone. I can’t keep the kids from him. He is a good dad if he isn’t drinking... 


But I can’t. I’ve seen how he is with them when he lets alcohol take over. I care about my kids too much. Either way is a mess. 


I have so much invested with this man. Not money that is not what I mean. I can find a way to make things work financially. But I have spent 17 years with him...His family is my family...and I stay because I do care about him. I might hate his guts too but I love him and I care about his well being. 


Several days a week I fear that I will find him dead. I fear even more that one of my kids will find him dead. 


As much as this isn’t good for his health, it has become horrible to my health too. 


I’m such a mess.


Rose351
Rose351
I worry about waking up and finding my AH dead also. He has been so self destructive these past few years it almost seems inevitable and just a matter of time. It is horrible to be so lonely in a marriage and they don't have a clue. I too am heavily invested emotionally with step kids and grand kids. Could survive financially on my own but know deep down I could never leave him So I stay and am sad most of the time. We are in our 60's and I am too old to start over. The best we can do is take care of ourselves and our loved ones. I think mine drinks to kill painful emotions that he cannot bear to feel. The alcohol temporarily kills the pain until he passes out and falls asleep on the couch. We do have a few good days but they are few and far between. This site has helped me to not feel so alone knowing others are going thru the same thing.