I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I honestly feel like there is no rock bottom for my AH. He will never truly change. He goes thru sober spurts but always goes back to drinking eventually. It’s a sucky life we live being the wives of alcoholics. It really just sucks the life out of you. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel anxious, depressed and homesick constantly. Idk what home I’m sick for? I guess just a happy sober home lol. Hang in there dear. I always tell myself things HAVE to get better eventually. One way or another they’ll get better I hope. :)

It’s so funny you said “homesick” ellabella2 because yesterday, my boys and I spent the day shopping with my parents while my AH laid on the couch drunk. For the first time since before I was married, I found myself wishing that the day wouldn’t end...that I could stay with my parents all day...that I was homesick for their house. I think it’s because it’s secruity, stability, normalcy, happiness. For me, it’s being around people who aren’t drunk and letting my children see a stable family interaction. When I got home last night, my AH couldn’t even stand. When I took the beer away (I know, you should never do that but I had had enough)...he called me names and went straight to sleep. It’s like, if he can’t drink at home, then he sleeps. There is no in between with him. I was awakened (so was my infant and toddler) at 5:00am this morning with him stumbling into the bedroom trying to find the hidden alcohol. I told him to just go back to the living room and let us sleep. He proceeded to tell me he wants a divorce, hates me, and how terrible I am (the same old spill I hear every time JD is consumed). I work all week...is it too much to ask for a good nights rest and some peace on the weekends?! He doesn’t see it that way. I honestly ONLY suck it up for my kids. I don’t want to co-parent or even consider the idea of him watching them unsupervised.