Im laying here as my husband gets ready for work. He drank last night while I was at my grandmothers funeral and gathering. ( he doesn’t come to functions with my son an I, which is reallllly effing annoying I might add) I so wake up to screaming and slamming of doors. He “can’t find anything”  he bashes how I “don’t keep the house in order”  blahhhh blah blahhh. I put things where they belong, I don’t just leave things out in the open for his well-being. Open your eyes buddy!! Open a drawer, look in the closet!!! Maybe look in the laundry room, if your clothing doesn’t make it there, it’s not getting cleaned!!! Ugh!!!! I’m not a fucking maid. Meanwhile I’m laying with my son so he doesn’t wake up to the screaming. My husband doesn’t realize he spent hundreds of dollars on booze and nonsense this weekend while he was drinking. Sooo we’re broke for two weeks. He feels the need to drive an expensive car that seems to have problems.. to add to our morning his car is acting up. There is not going to be money to fix whatever it is.. but that will be my fault of course. He feels the need to buy nice things, have a house that we can’t afford. Do whatever he wants because we  both make “enough” money to live this way. And we are SO broke because of it. He has no clue what it takes to pay bills and run a household. He only knows how to buy booze and spend money out the ass till his card gets declined. But that’s my fault too. I want to leave soooo bad and get my son away from the yelling and slamming but I literally have zero dollars to go anywhere. I’m to embarrassed to ask for help. Anyone leave with no money. And left him with no money? I’m so angry and have no one to talk to about it. I’m so scared on having no money, I have anxiety 90% of the time thinking on how my bills are going to get paid next, or if something breaks like his freakin car. I swear I want to smash his car with a baseball bat i get so annoyed. I would never. But the thought has definitely crossed my mind.