hi all, brand new to this forum and actually pretty new to dealing with my husbands alcoholism as well. We’ve been married several years but the cracks didn’t start to show until about maybe 2 years ago. At first it was B just getting sloppy drunk at parties “can’t hold his alcohol” we’d all say. Then overtime it became more of an everyday occurrence, where it seemed like he couldn’t wait to get home to crack one open. He’d neglect the household duties we shared, neglect me and shut himself in the den to play video games and drink beer after beer. At first I tried to set rules, obviously that didn’t work. Then I pleaded with him to just try and see all of the things he was neglecting and how he wasn’t the same person he used to be-the same person I married. Then the lies started, little white lies about how many drinks he’d had or how much he’d spent on something- it seemed to infect every aspect of our lives at this point. Over the last year he battled more anxiety for various reasons (low self-image, work etc) and his drinking became worse. I tried to do all I could to make him feel good about himself, while also taking care of myself (he certainly wasn’t most times) as I suffer from depression as well. We would have little break through moments where we’d come together and it felt like everything was going to be ok and then a week later he’d slip back into his old habits.

which brings us to my current state: after trying to support myself emotionally, keep up with a household with little help and trying to support my husband the best I can emotionally it’s taken a toll. I collapsed into a deep depression and just couldn’t get off of the couch. We were supposed to go to a friends house for a gathering but I couldn’t bring myself to go. B went instead, he brought a 6 pack to share. He knew the way I was feeling when he left and said he’d be there for me when he got back. Several hours later he got back visibly I toxicated, slurring his speech- I knew he’d had way too much. He’d driven home, I was so angry that he would do that! I was angry he would come home so drunk, and I was angry he would lie about how many drinks he’d had.

i went to bed crying. He woke up the next morning and finally admitted he’s an alcoholic. The first time he’s ever said it out loud, probably the first time he’s ever admitted it to himself. He called his parents and told them, to make it real. He says he’ll change and seems very enthusiastic to do so. I remain positive but so skeptical, he’s made so many promises before. I guess that’s why I’m here though, to get hope, to see what I can do to help, to save my marriage, to learn...even though we’ve been dealing with the issues for a while, it finally feels real only now.