So here I am I haven´t posted for a while. My AH is back in our home town trying to get treatment which seems to be taking forever. Meanwhile my lovely kind son is putting up with his daily behaviour of drinking smoking and not much else. I feel so bad that I have let this happen. I should just have had the nerve to leave. But I have been there before and I decided to dig my heels in as I was sick of having to start again and I have a great job and good friends.To be honest when I don´t hear anything about what is going on I am at my happiest on my own. Is that selfish?
For now I am happy in my own company, but I have to go back to my home town to help my son through his last year of uni and look after my precious grandson who is the only sunshine in my life.

However I am dreading going back as there are so many things I haven´t missed one bit.

I would love to get my own place when I get back, I really need my own space and life. At the moment I have no wish to get back with my AH we have been here too many times and I am so tired of all the drama and uncertainty. I used to feel scared at the thought of being on my own but have discovered I am actually quite happy on my own and the peace is amazing. So I have a few months of this to gather my strength for what is to come.