Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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naezer 07/22/2015

Awhile back I posted that I had made a decision. I was leaving my alcoholic husband. It's taken longer than I would like to admit, but I have retained an attorney. I'm expecting paperwork in the next day or so and the next step is having him served.

Honestly, I am so unbelievably anxious to get on with my life. The last 11 years have given me so many opportunities to learn about myself. I'm sure I still have things to learn, but I am proving to myself now that I am strong and I'm willing to stand up for myself and for my daughter.

I'm committed to standing my ground, not succumbing to manipulation, guilt trips, threats and everything else they like to throw our way. I am nervous and scared, but plan to take one day at a time. He's losing a free ride so I'm sure it won't be easy.

I am hoping he can look at the situation and realize that he needs help and that fighting for our daughter makes no sense in his condition. Fingers crossed for an amicable divorce!

bensmom85 07/22/2015

Congratulations on your work, preparation and courage! It is a big step to take and you will succeed. Sounds like you are growing stronger each day. Proud of you and wishing you the best!

jennybobenny 07/22/2015

I was just saying today to a friend how my boyfriend is more upset he can't ride on my coattails anymore than he is about not being able to see our son every day and certainly not that he and I broke up. He has threatened to never see our son again (it was a bluff) and he also threatened to disappear (I can only dream LOL).

Ginny03 07/22/2015

Good for you Naezer! We understand how hard and long it can be to make these decisions when it's an alcoholic spouse that you are divorcing. It is different than a typical separation/divorce where one no longer loves the other or whatever it is that splits people up. I guess maybe I'm projecting, but in my case and I think it's also true in so many others... when the non-alcoholic spouse finally decides to divorce their alcoholic spouse it's because they have realized that even though they may love their spouse things won't change. Just tonight my husband who I am divorcing - sent me a text that his heart belongs to me. I loved him so much, but his body loved alcohol more. It tears me apart to receive texts like this, but I can't change him.

Really just wanted you to know I'm in the same boat. Filed a few weeks ago and he received the papers. I too am looking forward to the end of this and the beginning of my next chapter. Good luck to you, hope it goes as smooth as possible. Hugs!

ExJerseyGirl2 07/23/2015

Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom.

I hope one day I can find the strength you are showing.

naezer 07/24/2015

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and support! I hope I can continue to post positive progress. =)

naezer 07/24/2015

To ExJerseyGirl2 - you will, you absolutely will. It's not easy to find yourself again, but somehow it happens. Have faith in yourself and believe. We are worth so much more than we're made to feel. Best of luck to you!

bonblue 07/27/2015

It a very hard thing to do but sometimes there is no other choice.
It took me years to finially admit to myself I am thru..I still love him
But I just can not live with a alcholic anymore . It's too emotionally
Draining. It's never good enough. He compliments me and then makes
Me feel terrible in the same breath.
I'm now living by myself and it's lonely at times...but no more the being
Lonely at home while your husband would rather be drinking with his
Friends. It gets hard financially but it was just as had with a alcholic
Husband who never worries about money until now.
Now his health is getting worse the he wants me to come home or he move
In with me .. he just need to quit drinking

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