Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I apologize in advance for my poor grammar as I'm typing this out on my cell phone.
I joined this group 4 years ago and have not posted in a very log time ... Although I do stop in and read once in a while to read others stories and feel less alone.
My question is about interventions. My AH is at the point now where he is long past denial and doesn't want this addiction anymore. He's very depressed and his physical health is starting to show signs of deterioration from the abuse its taken. For the past year he's made commitments to get help, go to the doctor, go to AA, talk to his family, go to treatment etc. None of it has happened. He has made it clear he won't goon his own... But he's also made it clear he thinks if I "really loved him" I would drag him there.
I'm so weak and worn down myself these days. I take care of the kids and constantly stress over and take care of him... I don't know what more I can take on on my own. I'm wondering how I can do an intervention... Involving his parents (who I'm honestly not sure know he is an alcoholic or if theyare in denial themselves) . he obviously wants ME to take charge and make the first step for him... But I don't know how to do this. To ask others to help... To ask others to hold him accountable and make him follow through on treatment and doctors appointments etc. Ijust can't take it all on myself ... And I have tried in the past. His family needs to be a part of this as much ad I have tried to keep this private.
What do I do? How do I tell his parents this about their son? What if they don't believe me or don't want to be involved? What if he ends up upset?
Something needs to change and quickly. I'm worried about him constantly and the stress almost feels unbearable. I'm drowning. He's drowning. Something needs to happen. This is the big one... The one that will either finally get him moving in the right direction or the one that finally tells me it will never change and to prepare myself for the inevitable.
Thanks for listening.
I joined this group 4 years ago and have not posted in a very log time ... Although I do stop in and read once in a while to read others stories and feel less alone.
My question is about interventions. My AH is at the point now where he is long past denial and doesn't want this addiction anymore. He's very depressed and his physical health is starting to show signs of deterioration from the abuse its taken. For the past year he's made commitments to get help, go to the doctor, go to AA, talk to his family, go to treatment etc. None of it has happened. He has made it clear he won't goon his own... But he's also made it clear he thinks if I "really loved him" I would drag him there.
I'm so weak and worn down myself these days. I take care of the kids and constantly stress over and take care of him... I don't know what more I can take on on my own. I'm wondering how I can do an intervention... Involving his parents (who I'm honestly not sure know he is an alcoholic or if theyare in denial themselves) . he obviously wants ME to take charge and make the first step for him... But I don't know how to do this. To ask others to help... To ask others to hold him accountable and make him follow through on treatment and doctors appointments etc. Ijust can't take it all on myself ... And I have tried in the past. His family needs to be a part of this as much ad I have tried to keep this private.
What do I do? How do I tell his parents this about their son? What if they don't believe me or don't want to be involved? What if he ends up upset?
Something needs to change and quickly. I'm worried about him constantly and the stress almost feels unbearable. I'm drowning. He's drowning. Something needs to happen. This is the big one... The one that will either finally get him moving in the right direction or the one that finally tells me it will never change and to prepare myself for the inevitable.
Thanks for listening.
I enlisted the support of tr treatment Center he went to. An interventionalist came, got debriefed by us, sat in, have her support and 2 cents then took him directly there (I already had him packed).
His mom (dad passed away 10 yrs ago due to alcohol related disease/complications) was unaware of his problems.
In the intervention was myself 2 of his good friends and a work partner. We all spoke of how his drinking has effected us, how sad it is to watch him waste away and develop into someone we feel we do. It know not want to know. He agreed quite early into it before we could even drop down the ultimatums or consequences if he chose not to go. It was the single best thing we eer done for him and by far the best thing he has done for himself. He is a changed man... Physically, mentally and spiritually.
You'll not regret going thru with ultimately saving himself from himself.
Best of luck!!
Good luck to you.
Theres some good info out there.
Also theres a man named Joe Herzenek and he has been doing interventions for quite a while.Look him
up on the internet!