Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Didnt really marry my Father but I have picked men who are so much like him. Living with my AH is making me feel like my Mother...bitter,angry and lonely! Wonder how many of us do this..I cant be the only one. My first husband had a drug issue and this one is an alcoholic....my Father had both issues. In the end those issues ended his life. I opened up to my Mother about my AH and she said she already knew that she could see what was happening and knew I would come to her in my own time. I am so glad I told her as she really is a great support for me. Does anyone else feel like they are following family tradition in a sick twisted way?
11Christmases
Yes! My dad was an alcoholic and I thought he was mean and I couldn't wait to move out on my own...I married a nice guy and over the years the drinking increased and then the behavior became more and more unacceptable. Now I am thinking my dad was actually a nice guy compared to my AH.
yw249
My Grandfather was an alcoholic and my only male role model growing up. I read someplace that people who grow up in turmoil tend to unwittingly marry someone who will bring them that same kind of turmoil to give us an opportunity to "fix" old problems. I believe it too.
deleted_user
I agree with you, my father was also an alcoholic. The man I was with before my AH was also an alcoholic. I stayed with him for 6 years before I up and left and now I am married to an alcoholic. I do believe that we follow a trend. In my mind as we are growing up we see how our parents our and we tend to grow up and pick the same men as our father's. I have always heard that women will likely marry men that our like their father's. I have two daughters myself and I pray every night that when they get older that they won't marry a man like their father. I sit down and have talks with my older daughter to let her know that she does not need to rely on a man to get threw her life and to concur her dreams. I also tell her that she should always date men that will respect her as she respects him. I feel your pain, and I hope that I can break the cycle in my family with my daughters.
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