Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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DSTRICK 02/12/2018

we'll i'm sitting at work and not wanting to be here at all today, I do everything I can to help my AH and take care of our family and home. Our daughter is due any day now and her husband works out of town so i've been staying alot at her house to help with her 2 girls. (mostly to just have peace) My AH has his moments that he actually isn't selfish and tells me to stay and help her out, but in a split second that unselfishness can change to the most selfish self centered ass... I went home yesterday morning and laid next to him and watch tv for 3 hours even joked around. I didn't get angry or smart off when he decided in the middle of a tunderstorm that he needed to go visit his mom, I know what that means... Whiskey time! Sure enough a couple hours later he showed up at my daughters drunk we tolerated him since he was trying to be nice and brought food by. When he left he knew that I was staying the night and was alright with it, couple hours later I had to run home to change and pick up some things, I guess that was a mistake he started in why was I leaving again, why can't he have some time with me, I was playing a game that morning with him now i'm leaving again. It goes on and on, when I tried to say he was sober in the am and drunk now so no I don't want to lay around with him. He tried to say he wasn't drunk.... So he sobered up in that hour after he left our daughters house. And since I didn't stay home its my faught that he's gonna drink some. Just excuses after excuses is all it is! I'm so tired of babysitting a grown man I make sure food is there, house is cleaned, laundry is done. But he's going to still have something to bitch about. And of course throw in my panties are to sexy and he never sees them but I wear them sometime!!! God i'm just so ready for a change I pray everyday for something to give or break. Just about ready to just walk away from everything that i've been holding on to these past couple of years, it's not worth it!

ellabella2 02/12/2018

You are preaching to the choir sister!!! That’s about how fast my AH moods swing. Like I cannot keep up with his mood swings! They wear me out! So mentally and emotionally draining! I find myself praying all day just wanting a change. Any change! Just direction as to what I should do. How long have things been this bad for you? I’ve been married 8 years and he’s always been an alcoholic. I’d say the last year has been the hardest I’ve had to deal with so far. It just seems to be getting worse. I don’t think I can do this much longer. Hang in there girl!! Hugs!

DSTRICK 02/13/2018

we've been married 30 yrs and he's always drank. When we 1st got together we were party buddies but when we married and had our first child I was done with the party life. But he however continued to drink. We have had our good times usually me just putting up with and tip toeing around to keep the peace. Seem to really get bad every 6-7 yrs I get so exhausted that I shut down and I last a few months this time around i've lasted going on 2 yrs trying to stay in control of myself. I know that he's worst when I get to my limit and I fight back but I'm to that point that it's harder to give in. Theirs days that I think I can give in and just allow him to do this but it only last a day or so and I get frustrated that i'm the one giving and he's still getting his way. I know its a matter of time before he looses this battle if he doesn't get help soon. I see it in his body! The drinking is getting worst he was drinking 1 pint a day and maybe a beer or 2, now he's at 1 1/2 pints to 2 pints of whiskey a day. And when I say day i'm talking after work 4pm till he passes out. He's not an all nightier, unless he's in a mood to argue. He usually drinks that in a few hours, eats and passes out. Weekends he starts around 11am some days sooner and it depends on whats going on to how much he drinks these days.
I stayed home last night but slept on the couch because he started texting crap on my way home from work saying he wanted me to kill him! I ignored his text all night a room apart he texted crap, calling me a cold hearted B, to telling me to F off and just get out of his life. I'm proud to say I made it through the night without taking the bait and arguing... This morning when sober I asked if he enjoyed putting me down and treating me like that??? He of course made it out that I was treating him bad. His mind is going, he will be 56 next month and his 94 yr old mom has a better memory than he does! You hang in there also, I know it will get better one day... ;)

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