Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
We have been sleeping separately for a long time because of the withdrawal leg twitches keeping me awake all night negatively affecting me the next day with exhaustion. I have tried countless times for him to go to the doctor to get medication. He drinks during the day and finishes at 8.30pm he says he can drink in moderation.
This morning for the first time I packed his clothes and he took them to his office. He has told me how he is peaceful and that he doesn't need a doctor he just needs rid of the woman in his life.
He was drinking before I met him he seems to have forgotten. I have had codependency issues for many years. I wanted to see if he loves me, crazy behaviour and I don't drink.
I tried to get him to return home apologising. He said he is comfortable sleeping on his office floor in peace and if he returned he wouldn't be sleeping in the bed.
He brought up some things I told him in confidence previously to hurt me.
Some times life takes a funny turn
Unfortunately alcoholics will attack the most supportive people in their life because in their minds they see that as a threat. I can almost guarantee you're not the cause of his drinking or his peace. They will say things like that to avoid being accountable for thier own life choices and actions.
I would focus on taking care of yourself. I too sleep separately with my husband because I just can no longer handle the strong alcohol smell that releases from his pores and I don't feel bad about it because my mental health is just as important.
Don't have regrets for doing what you feel is best! Good Luck
Another post reply really resonated with me and want to share that members words if wisdom.
I’m an AH. .
I tell anybody that will listen it is never too late to quit.
The thing is my wife finally stopped enabling. I suggest making life as much of a pain as possible. Wake him up early. Don’t do any laundry , don’t do his dishes.
The only way an alcoholic will change is it the pain of quitting is LESS than the pain of drinking.
The ah will only get sober if he wants it. Honestly the best medicine is ignore the ah. We hate that. Just act like we don’t exist. Sure as hell don’t pamper us. Why get help when life is great?