I am so overwhelmed today...I feel, honestly, like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. This site has been so wonderful...I just have the need to vent. I swear, if I could go ONE day without drama, I would be in heaven. My friends are so sick and tired of hearing about it all...

My middle child was just diagnosed with Asperger's. We have fought for years for a proper diagnosis, so getting one that finally made sense was a relief...and a new set of problems...all packed in one. Things with him have been esp difficult the last few weeks. I'm taking off tons of work to make his doctor appointments, which are 2hrs away (one way).

My youngest child is has been sick for the last few days, so I'm having to take time off of work for him also. The poor little guy is miserable, so he certainly can't go to school.

Finances are soooooo tight this time of year because I pay for full-time daycare for three kids all summer. That's expensive! So, it takes me usually until about Nov to get caught totally back up. Summer time stretches my budget beyond its limit. I just found out that my ex husband lost his job a few weeks ago, so what little child support I get will stop now until he decides to work again (last time he lost his job, he didn't work for nearly 2 years). I am having trouble with finances now that my husband and I don't live together...I haven't had to control that stuff for years bc he always did it. To top it all off, those appts that I'm taking my son to get expensive. We drive a total of 4hrs at least once a week, sometimes twice. Gas is not cheap!

I found out recently that I was miscarrying. I had a D&C last week to finish the process. That in itself has me so upset. I am so torn. I would like another baby...have wanted one for years...BUT, I know in my heart that this wasn't the right time so it's almost a "blessing". I hope that makes sense. I've miscarried multiple times and every time it hurt...but I know that I couldn't have handled a baby right now, the way our lives are.

My husband, who I have supported 100% through his struggle with alcohol has decided that he "isn't sure" that he wants to be with me anymore. That was a huge blow to me also. I found out this last weekend that he isn't sure that he wants to deal with young children or a child with a disability. He isn't sure that he wants to be tied down to us. He currently isn't speaking to me because of somebody that I friended on Facebook...Facebook of all places!!!! It angered him so much that he sent me a nasty message on there and has not answered any texts today. He has done (or I guess NOT done) things today, I know in an effort to hurt me. He knows that I look forward to my "Good morning" text first thing in the morning...didn't get that today. Told him that I was sorry that I upset him over this, that we needed to discuss it (it's such a long story), and that I loved him. Nothing.

So...yeah, I am just having a day where I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I'm so worked up and upset today. Think I'm just going to spend the day curled up in my bed, snuggled up to my sick son...and ignore the world for a while.