Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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aral2003 02/27/2014

My husband has finally decided to admit he is an alcoholic and is now in outpatient rehab. This just started about 2-3 weeks ago. He sees an alcohol counselor and attends group meetings weekly. He hasn't drank in about 17 days now. He is a binge drinker, so he was not drinking all the time, but the amounts he consumed when he did drink were beyond excessive. It put a lot of strain on our marriage, and I still do not know if the damage can be repaired.

What am I supposed to do while he is in rehab and thereafter? Can I still go out with friends on my own and not feel guilty about drinking? Can I order a drink when the two of us go out to dinner? I also have a part time job where I promote liquor and wine products maybe once or twice per week for a couple hours. I do not bring any alcohol home and I do not drink at these events. I educate consumers about new products and let consumers sample the new products. Well, my husband said something last night about how he cannot believe I am still doing that part time when I have a recovering alcoholic husband. But I am sure he won't yell at his friends who continue to drink in front of him... guess it is easier to yell at me and take frustrations out on me.

NovScorp 02/27/2014

I have never been a drinker,which I think helps my ah to stay sober..He went to rehab Jan 10 and has not drank since. He stays away from all triggers,Like restaurants that serve alcohol,even gas stations that sell beer.I am ok with that because I want him to stay sober. Maybe you selling alcohol is a trigger for him..I dont know why that would be but then I am not An alcoholic. He probably is going through alcohol withdrawel still..It can takes months before his body adjusts.

lori47 02/27/2014

Nov has a good point. I know from reading on the alcoholism board and talking with my ex cousin who is an alcoholic that they have to stay away from all triggers....probably about a year to become a little more secure with their nondrinking. I would try to support these issues for now such as not going out with your girlfriends drinking until he is a little more stable.

Most recovering alcoholic can eventually be around alcohol without falling off the wagon. I would try to support him in any way you can as long as it is just support and him not trying to get you in the role of living your life for just him.

Good luck.

lori47 02/27/2014

sorry ex cousin is a recovering alcoholic. she has been sober for about 12 years

aral2003 03/03/2014

I have been avoiding going out with my girlfriends because I don't think it is fair for me to go out and have some drinks while he stays at home. However, my part time jobs is an entirely different issue. I do not sell liquor. I am a promotional specialist so I educate consumers about liquor products. I don't bring booze into the house and I do not drink at these events. I do this maybe once per week for three hours. Also, last week he went to a basketball game with friends and was able to go out after with them and not drink alcohol. So how can that be OK when his friends are drinking around him, but my part time job is not OK.

He was diagnosed as being alcohol dependent. He is a binge drinker and did drink frequently. He wasn't the type of alcoholic who physically needs to drink all day everyday. But when he did drinks it was in dangerously large amounts.

lori47 03/03/2014

How is he doing so far? Is he having withdrawals? Mood good or bad?

aral2003 03/06/2014

It does not seem like he is having withdrawals. He does seem to get restless and feels the need to constantly be doing something so he is not tempted to drink. His alcohol counselor told him he is self-sabotaging. His mood was very up and down at first and seems a little bit better now. What bothers me is that he does not see what this has done to our marriage. I feel so disconnected from him now.

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