Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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How to move on?

Tambo5
Tambo5
My AH and I seperated almost two weeks ago. He went on a binge and didn't come home - and I can't handle the drinking. How do you get over loving someone, even though they are an alcoholic? I really miss him, but I don't miss how he is when he is drinking. How do you get over loving someone, even though they are an alcoholic? I spoke with him on the phone today and broke down after we hung up. Why can't I just be pissed over all of the shit that has happened and not love him anymore???????? We have been together for almost 23 years - since I have been 17 years old. We have seperated many times and you would think that this would be easy, but it isn't. Any advice?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tambo5, I hurt for you. Who could really give advice for this predicament? I don't know if there is any. When I think of calling it quits with my AH of 8 years, which has been a constant thought for several years now, I just think of it as a Shakespearean Tragedy. No matter how much love I have for him, desire for commitment, gentle heart, ability to forgive and desire to fulfill the vows that I vowed to him under God, I couldn't make him stop being a tormentor. And that's the sad truth, I think, of the basic problem of being the wife of an AH. We think there is some solution like a recipe... put these factors in, bake for 20 years and, voila... marital bliss. Sometimes, the bread just doesn't rise. When my bread doesn't rise, I feed it to my chickens. (I didn't necessarily mean for the "chickens" part to be a metaphor, but if it resonates with you, so be it...LOL.)

Don't be afraid to mourn. I'm glad you're here.
Tambo5
Tambo5
CaughtUpInHisBS,

Love it:

" We think there is some solution like a recipe... put these factors in, bake for 20 years and, voila... marital bliss. Sometimes, the bread just doesn't rise. When my bread doesn't rise, I feed it to my chickens. (I didn't necessarily mean for the "chickens" part to be a metaphor, but if it resonates with you, so be it...LOL.)"

Thanks, you made me laugh! I really needed that!

Tam
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tambo5,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't offer any advice, but I will keep you in my thoughts.

M2C