Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I have heard this more than once. That you can't make your AH stop drinking or realize certain things - they need to see it for themselves. What does this mean? My AH finally saw how much the alcohol was hurting me, but he was still falling back into it. I stopped him again - my worry is, will I have to keep stopping him again and again until he finally realizes what's happening on his own? Is that what it means? and how do I know they he will ever "see it" and truly understand how much it really hurt me and still hurts?
I'm so sorry you're hurting. You're right, there is nothing you can do to prevent or control your husbands drinking. It is progressive, so that means it will get worse and worse.
Your husband has to come to the realization that he, also, has no control over alcohol. When he hits his bottom, and I pray for you and him that he does some day, he will reach out for help. But again, this is not something you can force on him. You can try. He can go thru. the motions of rehab and therapy to get you off his back, but until he makes up his mind that HE NEEDS it, it won't do a bit of good.
How do you know if he will ever see it? You won't. He may decide one day to walk into rehab and start detox (which BTW should always be done with medical supervision because it can be deadly), but when he is out, the work is his to do and there are never any guarantees.
The best thing you can do to change the situation is to change yourself by going to Alanon or Celebrate Recovery. If you don't have access to any of those, there are online Alanon groups and there is also Sober Recovery's forum Friends and Family of Alcoholics.
Hugs my friend. It is a long, hard road we as the spouses of alcoholics travel. Be safe...be GOOD to yourself!!