It's been a fairly sober 2 1/2 months for my AH.that means absolutely nothing where this man is concerned. I work ina school and was home for summer time. Me being around keeps the drinking and pill abuse controlled. He also started seeing a new therapist 3 months ago and swore to me that this time around he would be honest in therapy. I should know better..... so today, my first day back to school year... yes you guessed it it FREAKING WASTED when I get home. You all know the story.... passing out in the middle of jibberish sentences. Eyes rolling around ( that left one cannot stay open.) AND he thinks he is going to drive 8 miles to get his medical marijuana prescription!!!!!! I drove him to the doctor ( because he was going to go threw hell or high water and I didn't want to deal with the possible consequences of HIS bead choice )but refused to go in with him.
We get home he is being a complete jerk, no surprise here, telling me how I'm just a stupid idiot and how I leave the shovel in the garden (?) and how I never finish a task ...... WHAT???? What the hell is he talking about ? I do practically everything by MYSELF including go to work to pay the bills.
We just sold our house and are moving to a condo, ugh. He is not helping with the packing, yet says I criticize how he packs. So now I'm sitting in the living room because I cannot watch him be passed out in the chair.
im so angry right now..... I just looked at the bank accounts and I've had nough of his bullshit. AND medical marijuana costs me 500$ cash/ month! Well that money is going to dry up quick. I just moved all money but household bills to an account he has no access to.
Now I'm replying to my own rant! I went back into the den to watch television , he briefly wakes up, looks at me bewildered " how 're ya doin?" I say "fine"
Out cold again doing this silly little dancing thing with his feet! I think the tv is annoying him because of the sound. But tough shit the go up to bed.
Now I'm feeling mean spirited. Imagining things I could do to annoy him. Lol maybe I should start a chore and leave it unfinished.
Oh! Now he's up and about ! In a crazy codependent way I want to stalk him to find the hidden vodka. Oh I hear him taking his medications.
Aaaaahhhhhh I cannot take it.... eating cookies !
I feel you I feel you I feel you. Being passive aggressive won't help tho, it will just make you feel like shit. So sorry you have to go through this when you're just getting back to work. I'd say it's like they have an internal mechanism that tells them to fuck up when we are going through something rough, but they just fuck up so often and continuously it seems that way. Idk what to say, because I haven't left and I've been sitting here thinking about how much happier and at peace I would be if I DID leave. My AH has been on medication for about a week now to help him deal with anxiety and PTSD but I'm still living like he's a drunk and will show up wasted any minute. Every time he goes out I get massive anxiety. I'm pretty sure he did drink yesterday, not something he admitted to me but I overheard him talking to his mom. So... we sit and we suffer in silence because even when they are in recovery we have to walk on egg shells. Being the partner of an alcoholic takes such a toll... physically and emotionally. Sending good thoughts your way!
Out cold again doing this silly little dancing thing with his feet! I think the tv is annoying him because of the sound. But tough shit the go up to bed.
Now I'm feeling mean spirited. Imagining things I could do to annoy him. Lol maybe I should start a chore and leave it unfinished.
Oh! Now he's up and about ! In a crazy codependent way I want to stalk him to find the hidden vodka. Oh I hear him taking his medications.
Aaaaahhhhhh I cannot take it.... eating cookies !