hi ladies. So my AH has been held in the psychiatric department at a hospital 45 mins north of us since last Friday. At first he was extremely unhappy, "can you call them and tell them I'm not crazy?" I didn't really know what to say but I did respond, "hey, listen... they know what to do to keep you safe, you're home you take pills and you drink and then you hurt yourself." Realistically, if I hadn't told the doctor what AH had done he wouldn't be getting the help he's getting right now. We saw him yesterday and I was kind of sick to my stomach ... to see him in, fundamentally, the psych ward... made it that much more real what we are going through. He had a huge gash on the back of his head, still a bit bloody. I felt like I was in a movie or some show... he's been diagnosed with PTSD, and he's on new medication which seems to have dampened his extreme anxiety but who knows, because he's not in the "stress" of real life at home. Only time will tell. I talked to one of his counsellors today and she said I've hit compassion fatigue, and I'm just full of anger. Yes, I still love my AH... but it's like you have to wall off all of the things that have happened in the past in order to move forward... and I don't know how I feel or if I'm actually feeling! The last few days have been a roller coaster or maybe it's hormones. Trying to be kind and gentle to myself and it's so hard. So he makes some more promises and says things. But who knows? And I'm just trying to prepare for the worst case scenario.