Oh I am so sorry for the situation you’re in right now! First of all, promises by alcoholics mean absolutely nothing. And second, physical abuse is never OK. It sounds like it may be time to be very honest and have your husband face some consequences. . Since your parents are there, what do you think would happen if you told them the truth and showed them the bruises. Would they be supportive and helpful? Reach out to whoever you can, we all need support! I will be praying for you and hope you can get this worked out somehow but drunkenness is never a valid excuse for hurting somebody!

Thank you for your advise. I tried reaching out to his advisor at school. The only thing he really cares about is his school, so I talked to her to see if it will change his ways. He was not only drinking at home, bars, strip clubs, but also in his office at school...It didn't help... the only thing he does is blame me for opening up to someone. He told me this morning that everything is my fault. He doesn't realize that his actions should have consequences (he sees them as mistakes because he has "pain"). I told him if he realized that for the past three years he has cause me pain also... he said.. "well deal with it" and continue by telling me... "If I was you, I would of left already... I would not let any of this fly" and laughs....

Part of me feels like I need to tell the whole world who he really is (everyone paints him as a hero, scholar, a role model for others, with national and international awards)... but I am truly the only one that "knows him" behind his mask.... I get told that he is such a "good guy", a "great husband".... but no one has any idea what I go through... He can smile and be the sweetest to a stranger and turn around and call me " a stupid worthless bitch" and turn back around and smile to another person... part of me wants to believe in the promises and words that he tells me... Opening up to my parents would mean that our marriage is over... my parents would never tolerate such behavior... they would do the impossible to keep me away from him (and will even involve police).

I am so lost and feel so alone... I wake up, get ready for work, go to school, come home, cook, clean, do homework, and deal with him all alone... always smiling and acting like I am okay when in reality... I'm dying in the inside... just writing this now is so liberating to me.. thank you for listening to my story.

I’m sure the thought of leaving is overwhelming but do you love him? Not the him he was but the him he is now? If your daughter was in this situation what would you want for her? I have no doubt that you deserve so much better than what you are getting now. Sadly these things usually just escalate as time goes on. It’s very hard when the world sees him as someone that you know he is not. If you’re not ready to tell people yet I would at least take pictures of your bruises and document things to help you if you do ever decide to leave. Hang in there ❤️

Would your parents tolerate the behavior of an abusive husband? An alcoholic can only change themselves. It is their disease and their choice to recover.
The comment that what would you do if it were your daughter in that situation is a valid one and puts a different light on how you are being treated.
i do feel for you situation as we cannot chose who we fall in love with however we can choose if we wish to stay and be abused verbally, mentally, physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually. prayers for you.

It’s easy for me to say leave to another person but could never take my own advise. My AH hasnt really been physical with me but hes pushed me a few times causing bruises. My 1st marriage I was young and he was very abusive so when I met my now husband I thought so what if he drinks more than he should at least he doesn’t hit me! Well 31 yrs later I’ve come to relalize it’s no better than hitting the mental abuse and the daily drama of his drinking it’s all abuse. Having lived this life I’m going to tell u what I would tell my daughter if she was living this life. Loving an alcoholic is the hardest thing it’s exhausting and it never gets better. My AH is 56 he’s drank since he was 15 he’s never really been to a rehab only has spent a few days in a detox center. He lives to drink and even though he’s a functioning alcoholic and works hard to provide for his family his drinking has taken over and the effects are so real. He drinks everyday if not he can’t sleep, he’s loosing everything from his friends his children and missing out on watching his grandchildren grow we have no life without alcohol Cant take vacations can’t have adult conversations because he can’t rememebr and I’m over repeating myself time after time! Yes I tried leaving but I was to weak and give in everytime allowing his promises to control my decision of having a more normal life. But I truly believe it gets to a point when leaving isn’t a choice and ur just waiting for the inevitable so that makes me sound heartless! Don’t let it go till it’s to late. If u can’t leave at least stand up for urself. No one deserves to be abused talk to your parents I know that I would want my kids to come to me with anything. Stay strong and don’t allow his addiction to take over and have the control! Good luck sweetie hope u find the answers u need